Identification
Is
'The Essence of Our Common
Bond'
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"
'My name is Rosemary P., and I am an alcoholic.' That's
a simple introduction. And powerful! It tells you who
and what I am, instantly. "It immediately connects
me to you if you, too, are an alcoholic."
Speaking at the June 1989 Northeast
Regional Forum in Portland, Maine, Rosemary called identification
"the very essence of our common bond" and expressed
concern that "the way we traditionally introduce
ourselves at meetings has changed so much, the word 'alcoholic'
often is omitted entirely."
The delegate (Panel 39) for Central
New York pointed to a new crop of introductions heard
around A.A.-from "I'm cross-addicted" and "I'm
chemically dependent" to "I'm a recovering person."
She said that she is "always tempted to respond,
'you're a cross-addicted what?' "You're a chemically
dependent what?' And 'Whom or what are you recovering
from?' " Her frustration mounts, she added "because
I need to know that you're at the meeting for the same
reason that I'm there - for ongoing recovery from the
disease of alcoholism."
Rosemary further believes that
the breakdown in the way we identify ourselves "puts
a serious strain on our unity and singleness of purpose.
When I say at an A.A. function that 'I'm a drug addict
and an alcoholic' or 'I'm a cross-addicted alcoholic,'
I am telling you that I'm a special kind of alky - my
case of alcoholism is different from yours! I add an extra
dimension to my disease - one that, because of our singleness
of purpose, should not be addressed at an A.A. meeting.
I have just cut our common bond in half and, more importantly,
I have diluted my own purpose for being there."
In her area, Rosemary noted,
"it was thought that after a person was around A.A.
for a while, all other descriptive words would fall away
and we would hear, 'I am an alcoholic.' But this has not
happened. We see people sober in A.A. for two, three,
four years and more-still clinging to the treatment jargon
they were first taught. They have not made the transition."
What we need to do, Rosemary
suggests, is to seperate our issues and take them seperately
to the programs designed to address them: Narcotics Anonymous
for drug addiction; Overeaters Anonymous for addiction
for food, and so on. When participating in these various
meetings, she feels, "we should identify ourselves
accordingly."
It has been suggested, she said,
"that we approach treatment facilities and, in the
spirit of cooperation and concern for the newcomer, ask
that they instruct their patients on how to separate their
addictions rather than group them together under the lable
of 'addictive personalities' - using the catchall phrase
we hear so often, that 'a drug is a drug.' "
The idea of seeking outside cooperation
is all very well, Rosemary observed, "but I wonder
if the real answer doesn't lie squarely within our own
Fellowship. Isn't it the responsibility of each of us
to keep our program intact, to pass it on to the newcomer
as it was given to us? Importantly, can we do this with
patient explanation, tolerance toward differences - and
more patient explanation? I believe we can, through committed
sponsorship, strong home groups and active service. That
way our new members will learn how to be a part of A.A.,
not a fragment of it."
Most of us, Rosemary concluded,
"have heard it said that if A.A. is ever destroyed,
it will be destroyed from within. In my opinion, apathy,
cloaked often in the guise of 'live and let live,' is
one of our greatest enemies. But the destructive force
is not those members who introduce themselves as 'cross
addicted alcoholics' - it is the attitude of those members
who sit back and say, 'So what!' "
Reprinted from (Box
4-5-9, Feb./Mar. 1997),
Copyright © ALCOHOLICS
ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC.
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