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PASTORAL
PSYCHOLOGY, Vol. 2 (13), APRIL, 1951
THE
PASTOR'S RESOURCES IN DEALING WITH ALCOHOLICS
Alcoholics
Are Consumed With Guilt; They Do
Not Need to Be Reminded of their Sins
by
Marty Mann
It
seems unlikely that there is any pastor anywhere who has
not at some time in his ministry been confronted with the
alcoholic problem. Alcoholism is far too prevalent among
us not to
have forced itself upon the attention of ministers of all
denominations. Some of them may have known what to do, but
the
vast majority, by their own confession, have found themselves
helpless. Their counseling, however effective on other problems,
has all too usually failed in these instances. They have
wondered
why, for on many occasions they have made efforts way over
and
above what would normally be expected of them. They have
given of
their time, their energy, and of their great compassion
for the
suffering - to no avail. Others among them have given nothing
and
have turned from the problem as none of their concern, about
which
they knew nothing and could know nothing.
To
those pastors who feel that they have been and can be
helpful to alcoholics along already proven lines of their
own,
there is nothing to be said, save to wish them more and
greater
success. To those who feel that it is not their problem,
it must
be said that they are wrong, for frequently they are the
first to
whom the distraught family, or even the sufferers themselves,
turn
for comfort and advice. And although they may know nothing
about
alcoholisn now, they can learn enough to be of help. Enough
is
know, now, enough literature is available, so that no pastor
need
say he cannot understand alcoholism or the alcoholic. But
he needs
more than understanding of the problem and its human victims.
He
needs knowledge of the methods which have been able to help
those
victims, and then, through his understanding, he will be
able to
guide them toward the use of such methods.
This
is where the majority, who have tried and tried in vain,
can turn many of their failures into success. They have
had
understanding - at least enough to create sympathy and a
great
desire to help - but they have not had knowledge. Today
they can
remedy that lack. The National Committee on Alcoholism,
2 East
103rd Street, New York 29, is the distribution center for
both
general and specific information on alcoholism, and has
prepared
many pamphlets on various aspects of the problem. It also
takes
orders for my book, Primer on Alcoholism, recently published
by
Rinehart & Co.($2.00), which should be of enormous help
in laying
a foundation of basic knowledge.
Pastors,
like everyone else, must start at the beginning.
Their understanding has in most cases been intuitive, based
on a
love of humanity and an equal love for human beings as
individuals, with all their faults and foibles, their tragic
mistakes and their tremendous potentialities. Often that
understanding has grown out of a real knowledge of the individual
concerned, of their fundamental fitness of character, of
their
great potentiality for good. The pastor who kept on trying
with
that kind of understanding and its concomitant sympathy,
kept
going on the hope that his alcoholics would somehow, someday,
"be
themselves again." That is not enough. That intuitive
understanding, fine as it is, must broaden itself and at
the same
time focus itself, with the aid of knowledge. It must learn
to be
a constructive understanding, able to teach the object of
its
sympathy what it knows.
It
should be apparent to pastors with that much understanding
that there is more to the problem of alcoholism than "moral
weakness," and that therefore it will take more than
moral
strengthening or even the best spiritual guidance and bolstering
to be of real help. Science tells us that alcoholism is
a disease.
Alcoholics Anonymous accepted that definition and uses it
with
effect on new "prospects" its members are trying
to reach. A.A.
defines the malady more specifically as "an obsession
of the mind
coupled with an 'allergy' of the body." The terms disease,
malady,
obsession, "allergy" - all are used to prove two
points to the
victim of alcoholism: 1. He is not alone, but is one of
countless
thousands suffering the identical illness. 2. He needs expert
help
to get well, just as he would if he had cancer, T.B., or
diabetes.
The pastor could well incorporate this knowledge into his
understanding and sympathy with a great gain in its effectiveness
on the alcoholic. The greatest gain, however, will come
if he can
instill hope.
Two
things then, are necessary to constructive
understanding, and they are expressed in the first two of
the
three points made by the National Committee on Alcoholism:
1. That
Alcoholism is a disease and the alcoholic is a sick person.
2. The
alcoholic can be helped and is worth helping. Next comes
specific
knowledge.
Psychiatric
and psychological treatment have helped many
alcoholics. The problem is to find an expert practitioner
with a
real interest in alcoholism (which usually means that he
specializes in it) who can win the confidence and trust
of the
specific alcoholic who needs his help. It may be a psychiatrist,
an analyst, a psychologist, or a lay therapist - the requirements
remain the same: that they be expert in their treatment
and that
they be able to inspire faith in them and their method.
In the
case of lay therapists who specialize in alcoholism, this
last
requirement is almost invariably met, for those few who
are in
practice are themselves recovered alcoholics and the very
fact is
faith-inspiring to an alcoholic patient. A greater problem,
however, is the time and expense involved in this type of
treatment, if and when the right doctor or therapist can
be found.
Most alcoholics have little money to spare, and when sober
they
either have or need to have work, which means they have
little
time either. There are cases, however, in which time and
money are
available and where one or the other of these methods are
strongly
indicated.
The
conditioned reflex method of treatment has also had a
good measure of success. Unfortunately, it is not widely
given in
its most effective form, and the patient will usually have
to
travel some distance to one of the three or four really
good
places. While this treatment does not take so much time,
it is
expensive, so once again it is not the answer for the majority
of
alcoholics.
Alcoholics
Anonymous, however, offers none of these problems.
It has had a greater success with a greater number of alcoholics
than all the other methods put together. It costs nothing.
And it
is very nearly everywhere. 100,000 members in 2500 A.A.
groups
scattered throughout the United States, Canada, and some
twenty
foreign countries, are ready and eager to help any alcoholic
who
wants help in recovering from that terrible malady known
as
alcoholism. In fact they need alcoholics to help, for it
is in
helping others that they help themselves to stay well. Knowledge
about Alcoholics Anonymous, therefore, is probably the most
useful knowledge that a pastor could have to implement his
understanding. The day may come when pastors and all other
groups
who have struggled in vain with this hydra-headed problem:
the
courts, the social agencies, employers, bewildered families,
even
the doctors themselves, will have all of these methods available
at no cost, to be used either singly or in conjunction with
each
other according to the needs of the individual alcoholic.
That day
will come when Alcoholic Information Centers and alcoholic
clinics
are established everywhere. Twenty-two such clinics now
exist,
located in different parts of the country, from Massachusetts
to
California. Thirty-five Alcoholic Information Centers are
operating, each established by a local Committee for Education
on
Alcoholism. It is one of the major activities of the National
Committee on Alcoholism to promote the establishment of
such
centers and clinics, and great headway is being made. When
the
National Committee's three points are finally and completely
accepted by the public at large, every city and town will
boast
its information center and clinic, for the third point insists
on
action: 3. This is a public health problem and a public
responsibility. Pastors can help gain acceptance for these
concepts and can help to promote action on them. It is our
hope
that they will continue to take an active part in this work,
as
many of them have already done.
Meanwhile
they are faced with the problem and must make do
with the limited resources at hand. They already know what
help
they can expect from the Salvation Army, for instance, and
how to
obtain that help. For many years the Salvation Army was
the only
group who would extend a helping hand to the alcoholic,
especially
the down and out one. And they know of the Lutheran Inner
Missions
and that many of them have made a special effort to help
alcoholics. Some social agencies, too, have tried to do
more than
they could do. It is a proud but pitiful record, the hopeless,
ever-hopeful efforts of these groups, and their all too
occasional
successes. Organized religion in itself, through all
denominations, has had occasional success, for a true religious
conversion can heal alcoholism as well as other ailments.The
difficulty lies in repeating the success with the next alcoholic
in the long endless line waiting for help. That chain-reaction
did
not come until Alcoholics Anonymous came into being.
It
is not the purpose of this article to explain the workings
of Alcoholics Anonymous as a method of recovery. Such information
can be had for the asking by writing them at Box 459, Grand
Central Annex, New York 17. But there are many practical
questions
relating to the use of A.A. by other groups such as doctors,
ministers, social workers, etc. which are not dealt with
in the
present A.A. literature. For instance, how can the pastor,
in his
professional capacity, work with A.A. and get help from
it?
First,
he will want to know if there is an A.A. group in his
area. A letter to the Box 459 address will get him this
information immediately, plus a local address to which he
can
again write for further details. Such a local address is
usually
just a P.O. Box number, but a letter there will reach the
local
group secretary who handles inquiries. The pastor should
ask for a
personal interview, either with the group secretary, or
with some
member who is willing to call on him and describe the set-up
and
workings of that local group. It is necessary to point out,
especially to professional people used to working with
organizations in the usual sense of the word, that A.A.
groups are
not organizations in that sense. They are rather loosely-knit
fellowships, held together and operating on a purely voluntary
and
individual basis. No single member, including the secretary,
can
speak for the group as a whole. He or she can only offer
his or
her personal cooperation, and that of such other members
as
signify their interest and willingness to cooperate on that
particular job. Therefore it is important that a pastor
establish
a working relationship with an individual or several individual
members on who he can call for assistance. They will frankly
tell
him just how much he can count on, and describe their own
limitations in that area.
Such
limitations are obvious to those who are familiar with
any A.A. group, but often seem to surprise people newly
acquainted
with A.A., particularly professional people. A.A. has no
magic
formula, for instance. Members cannot descend on an unwilling
prospect and magic him or her into willingness and cooperation
with the program of recovery. As in any other illness, the
patient
must want to get well - have the "will to live"
as doctors phrase
it for other maladies. Those who have accepted alcoholism
as a
disease will recognize this truth if they stop to think
a moment.
There are cases, however, in which the desire to get well
is not
evident to the family, friends, or pastor, but is nevertheless
there. Sometimes, in such cases, if a meeting can be arranged
between the "practicing" alcoholic and an A.A.
member, the latter
will be able to break through the wall of defiance which
the
alcoholic has built up against all efforts to help him (and
which
he calls "pushing him around" and "curtailing
his right to live as
he wishes"), and bring out the underlying wish to recover.
It is
my firm belief that very few alcoholics who have actually
crossed
the line from excessive drinking into true alcoholism, and
therefore felt all the agonies and horrors of an exceedingly
painful disease, actually wish to continue being like that.
They
want to get well, but unfortunately what they really want
is to be
as they used to be, able to drink normally without suffering.
They
do not know that they are victims of an incurable malady,
and
that, like diabetics who can never again touch sugar if
they are
to regain and maintain health, they can never again safely
touch
alcohol in any form. Once again, if they can be brought
to accept
alcoholism as a disease they, too, will eventually recognize
this
truth, and with that recognition, their cooperation in a
program
of recovery can usually be obtained.
A
word of warning is in order here to pastors who are
unfamiliar with alcoholism. A.A. cannot, and has no wish
to help
excessive drinkers back to moderation. It is a program designed
specifically for true alcoholics, those who have lost the
power of
choice in the matter of where, when, and how much they drink,
those
who, when they drink at all, almost invariably end up in
drunkenness. Many people mistakenly lump all drinkers who
ever
drink to excess under the heading of "alcoholics."
Nothing could
be further from the truth. Possibly many excessive drinkers,
"spree drinkers," "Saturday night drunks,"
"party drunks," are
indeed potential alcoholics in grave danger of crossing
the line
into true alcoholism, but the A.A. program rarely, if ever,
appeals to such drinkers. Education in what alcoholism is,
and how
nearly they may be approaching it, might conceivably stop
them in
their tracks, (I have, in fact, seen that happen a few times)
but
an effort to push then into A.A. usually backfires. A.A.
members
know this, and through their vast experiences can recognize
such
drinkers as being outside their province. On the other hand,
there
are many alcoholics who have only recently crossed the line
- or
at least, only recently has it been apparent that their
drinking
has changed - and who have not yet lost anything - job,
friends,
or family, who can be reached by A.A. These are questions
which
can best be passed upon by A.A. members, and which the pastor
would do well to discuss with them in the light of such
knowledge
as he has of the case, before either approaching the suspect
himself or arranging any contact with A.A.
In
short, the pastor's relationship with his local A.A. group
should be one of reciprocity, of a free exchange of information
and ideas on the particular case for which he desires help.
Often
the pastor will be able to get the patient interested in
A.A.
before he brings an A.A. member on the scene. It is assumed
that
he will have made every effort to learn about and thoroughly
understand the workings of A.A. first; that he will have
attended
many meetings and talked with many members in addition to
having
read all the literature. In that case he should be able
to vividly
describe the set-up and the people in terms which will appeal
to
the alcoholic. He will be able to arouse his curiosity and
at the
same time to allay his fears, for he will have learned that
there
are no "musts" and no "dont's" in A.A.,
but only a great
willingness to pass on the tricks of the trade" which
have enabled
the members to get sober and stay sober, and a great eagerness
to
accept newcomers as instant equals and as members in good
standing
from the moment of their entrance.
The
pastor will also have discovered that he, himself, cannot
do an A.A. job on the alcoholic. He will see with his own
eyes at
meetings and at interviews he may witness, that the man
or woman
who has actually been through the appalling experiences
of
alcoholism has an edge on him that no substitute knowledge
can
replace. For one thing, the sober A.A. member is the embodiment
of
hope. He is the living promise that it can be done. Hemakes
faith
in the possibility of recovery a thing that can be seen
and
touched and heard - himself. And, step by step, he can tell
not
how it can be done , but how he did it. The psychological
value of
such an object lesson for a helpless, hopeless sufferer
cannot be
matched. The nearest that the pastor can come to this is
to relate
a vivid and accurate story of the rehabilitation through
A.A. of
another alcoholic whom he personally knew. If he has that
A.A.
member's permission to give his name and to produce him
as the
first contact with A.A., the effect will be even better.
Of
course it should be made clear that A.A. members are in
no
sense trained experts, nor do they make any such claim.
They are
strictly amateurs, but amateurs with a difference. In a
field
where all too few trained experts exist, the man with experience
is in a unique position. And in this case the experience
itself is
unique: it is inside knowledge which gives its possessor
an inside
track to the heart of the problem involved. Nevertheless,
in spite
of all these advantages; a sound program which has thoroughly
proven itself, and specially qualified exponents of that
program,
A.A. does not claim 100% success. There are alcoholics who
cannot
be reached by this method (a rough estimate is 75% success)
and
this fact must be recognized. Then, too, there are those
who are
primarily mental cases with alcoholism as one of their symptoms
-
they are not good A.A. material.
Another
word of warning comes to mind. The pastor should
never forget that all alcoholics are consumed with guilt.
They do
not need to be scolded and lectured, or reminded of their
sins.
They have suffered pangs of remorse over their own behavior
and
what it has done to those who love them as well as themselves,
that are beyond the comprehension of normal people. In fact,
their
mental suffering, their guilt if you like, is abnormally
acute,
and therefore abnormally agonizing. These feelings of unbearable
guilt are so much a part of the picture of alcoholism that
many
alcoholics drink because of them; in other words, they cannot
bear
to be sober, and remember clearly the things they have done.
They
endure torments inexpressible save by a Dante whenever they
think
clearly .... at least until time has dimmed the recollections.
This
state of affairs, incidentally, explains the alcoholic's
reluctance, often downright refusal, to talk about his problem
when he has been sober for a while. It is unbearable for
him to
look clearly at his memories. They hurt too much.
The
pastor who understands this will not preach when an
alcoholic comes to him for help. If he is a man of true
compassion, he will be hard put to it not to overdo his
proffered
comfort. An attitude of objective sympathy and real comprehension
- the opposites of condemnation and contempt - will prove
the most
helpful. Ministers perhaps do not realize that in the minds
of the
alcoholic whom they are anxious to help, they themselves
offer the
greatest obstacle. The reason is simple. The alcoholic considers
himself a pretty low fellow when he looks squarely at his
drinking
problem and his behavior because of it. He may try to avoid
such a
conclusion, but in his heart he has admitted it. The minister,
on
the other hand, is a symbol of good. He stands for righteousness
and upright behavior in the middle of his parishioners.
He is a
Godly man - in fact he stands for the voice of God in his
Church.
The alcoholic who goes to his pastor for help, in effect
is
bringing himself to judgement. If he has been persuaded
or forced
to go to his pastor by his family, he is being brought by
them for
judgment. And he does not want judgment by any man, even
a man of
God, for he has already judged himself and found himself
wanting.
What is more, judgment will not help him, as he has already
discovered. What he needs is comfort, enlightenment, and
hope. The
pastor who can offer these can be really effective with
alcoholics, can properly prepare them for the supreme effort
they
themselves must make in order to recover. In giving such
comfort
and hope, he can and should be pretty tough under the heading
of
enlightenment - he should never minimize the desperate seriousness
of alcoholism, its progressive nature, its possible fatal
end. He
can stress the comparative hopelessness of any victim of
such a
terrifying disease attempting to cope with it unaided, even
though
his own intensive effort is essential if he is to use such
aid.
Here,
then, are some suggested techniques for getting an
alcoholic interested in A.A.: a thorough familiarity with
A.A.; an
understanding of alcoholism and an acceptance of it as an
illness
(that it is a spiritual sickness as well as a mental and
physical
one, no A.A. member will deny); acceptance of the fact that
he,
the minister, can rarely ever do the whole job himself;
the
presentation of A.A. not as an abstract philosophy nor as
a
miracle-working mystical something, but in the form of a
humanized
personal story of what it did for someone real and live,
who can
be produced in the flesh; the offering of comfort, hope,
and a
straight-from-the-shoulder enlightenment. Now the pastor
is ready
to either produce an A.A. member for a private interview
with his
alcoholic, or to take the alcoholic to an A.A. meeeting
and there
introduce him to several members, in both cases turning
him over
for A.A. to finish the job.
Do
the wrong methods still need to be enumerated? There are
a
few glaring ones that perhaps should be further pointed
up. First
and foremost, do not preach - or indicate to the alcoholic
what a
miserable sinner he is. He knows it. Do not attempt to take
over
the whole job of regenerating this poor devil - unless you
want a
large proportion of your time and energy taken up with small
chance of success after all your pains. Once you have led
him, (or
her) into A.A., let go. In A.A. they say, "let go and
let God."
It's not impossible that A.A. may lead him more directly
to God
than you could. In which case, incidentally, he will return
to you
- eagerly, and full of gratitude for your guidance.
This
brings us directly to the question of what does and does
not work in speaking of religion to an alcoholic. A.A. of
course
has a spiritual basis: the words Higher Power or God are
used in
six of the twelve steps of the program. Of vital importance,
however, is the fact that following the word God in Step
3 are the
words, "As we understood Him" - in caps for greater
emphasis. This
takes into account the extreme individuality of the alcoholic,
and
the never-to-be-forgotten fact that each one must be treated
as an
individual case, according to his or her specific needs.
There is
no effort in A.A. to force the spiritual part of the program
on a
newcomer, and in many cases this is the last thing about
A.A. to
be accepted. Too many alcoholics have gone completely away
from
their religious connections, either drifted away or in some
cases
deliberately turned their backs upon all things religious.
In such
cases it is most unwise to stress religious or spiritual
matters,
it would merely serve to close the door on that person's
chances
for recovery. A.A. believes in leaving the door open, the
wider
the better, allowing the newcomer to make use of the purely
psychological steps, the group therapy, and the social benefits
of
A.A. until such time as he or she is ready to progress a
bit
further. That time, incidentally, always comes.
In
the case of the pastor, he will undoubtedly know the
religious status and attitude of the alcoholic he is trying
to
help, and can be guided accordingly in speaking of spiritual
matters. If he is not sure of the alcoholic's attitude he
would be
wise to understate the spiritual aspects, not only of A.A.,
but of
his own interest in the case. One thing almost every alcoholic
is
terrified of is "being prayed over," as they put
it. Some of them,
who have read the A.A. literature and especially the twelve
steps,
stay away from meetings for some time for fear that will
happen
when they go there. Possibly they do not feel worthy of
such
efforts at the time they are asking for help! Certainly
I have
heard many of them say, "If I could not appeal to God
when things
weren't too bad, or thank Him when they were good, I have
no right
to ask Him for help when everything seems lost." Most
of them,
however, would probably put praying along with preaching
- it only
increases their sense of guilt at a time when they can't
stand it.
The
pastor who feels it is his bound duty to act as a
spiritual mentor to an alcoholic who come to him, could
perhaps
succeed if he could recall out of his own experience some
time of
deep crisis or personal suffering in which he found comfort
from
his faith, and could tell that story simply and directly.
In other
words, if he could come down from his symbolic mountain
above the
battle and meet the tormented soul of the alcoholic on its
own
level of suffering, that soul could perhaps accept comfort
from
him and gain some of his faith.
Most
of the foregoing has taken for granted the existence of
an
A.A. group within reach of the minister who wishes to make
use of
it. But there may be some towns where A.A. has not yet started.
The pator who finds himself in such a situation need not
give up
hope. It takes two alcoholics trying to get well to make
a group,
but only one alcoholic trying to get well to start a group.
If the
pastor knows even one alcoholic whom he thinks really wants
to
stop drinking, he can very well help him to start an A.A.
group.
But he must always remember that it is the alcoholic who
is
starting the group, and not himself. In other words, he
should
remain in the background, ready to offer advice and assistance
but
not taking a prominent part in the activities of the one,
two, or
three alcoholics who are trying to get started. His greatest
usefulness will always be in providing new prospects for
the first
ones to work on, in spreading the word around among his
colleagues, and even in actually bringing the A.A. and the
new
prospect together. Possibly he will have trouble getting
his first
man - or woman. If he finds that talking it over and giving
them
all the literature and such suggestions as he may have derived
from it are not enough to get that one started, he can take
a
further step. Correspondence with the A.A. central office
or the
nearest group, may bring a visit from a travelling A.A.
who can
call on the alcoholic, or he may be able to take his alcoholic
on
a visit to the nearest group. Ten years ago when there were
not
many groups, a Catholic priest in St. Louis shepherded several
alcoholics whom he was trying to interest in A.A. up to
Chicago
where they could see it for themselves. The St. Louis group
was
started.
There
is an important point here which needs re-emphasizing.
A pastor may be vital to the starting of an A.A. group,
but he
will remain important to that group just so long as he does
not
try to take it over, just so long as he stays in the background.
Non-alcoholics cannot successfully run A.A. groups. A.A.
has been
well called a "self-help" fellowship. This is
particularly true of
ministers, since if the group were too closely associated
with a
man of religion it might keep out agnostics, and a large
portion
of alcoholics think they are just that. They must get into
the
group to find out differently, and they will not come in
if they
think it is a religious outfit. Then, too, a close association
with any one denomination might keep members of other faiths
away,
and A.A. has no particular creed, faith, or denomination
- it
numbers all of them within its ranks.
One
more word, I think, needs to be said. Many ministers have
asked me if A.A. drew people away from their church. Quite
the
contrary. Those who had a church, from which they had probably
drifted away, almost invariably return to it. Some who had
never
had a church connection, make one after a while in A.A.
A large
proportion still had a connection, although most likely
it was a
tenuous one - such A.A. members can become very good church
members. There is no conflict whatever between A.A. and
the church
- any church.
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