• AA Literature
    • A.A. Big Book
      • A.A. Big Book (164 Pages)
      • Big Book Stories Edition 1
      • Big Book Stories Edition 2
    • A.A. Preamble
    • Singleness of Purpose
    • A.A. 12 Steps
    • A.A. 12 Traditions
    • A.A. 12 Concepts
    • 12 Traditions Checklist
    • 9th Step Promises (Pg 83/84)
    • The Serenity Prayer
    • Principles Of The Program
    • I Am Responsible
    • The Page Of Prayers
  • A.A. History
    • The Emmanuel Movement
    • The Washingtonians
    • Magazine & Newspaper Articles
    • Narrative Of A.A. Timeline
    • Timelines In A.A. History
    • Manuscript Of A.A. World History – Bob P.
    • Place And Things In AA History
    • Who’s Who In A.A. History
    • Big Book Story Authors
    • Writings Of A.A. Members
  • Influential Books
    • A.A. Big Book (164 Pages)
    • Big Book Stories Edition 1
    • Big Book Stories Edition 2
    • Mel B’s Library
    • Dick B.’s Library
    • The Greatest Thing In The World
    • The Varieties Of Religious Experiences
    • In His Steps
    • As A Man Thinketh
    • When Man Listens
    • John Barleycorn
    • The Confessions Of Saint Augustine (13 Books)
    • Religion, Clergy & A.A.
  • Free Stuff
    • Free Audiobooks & Speaker Tapes
    • Videos Of Bill Wilson
    • The PDF Project (1000+ PDF’s)
    • Free AA Apps For iPhone
    • Free AA Apps For Android
    • Free 12 Step Toolkit App
  • AA Literature
    • A.A. Big Book
      • A.A. Big Book (164 Pages)
      • Big Book Stories Edition 1
      • Big Book Stories Edition 2
    • A.A. Preamble
    • Singleness of Purpose
    • A.A. 12 Steps
    • A.A. 12 Traditions
    • A.A. 12 Concepts
    • 12 Traditions Checklist
    • 9th Step Promises (Pg 83/84)
    • The Serenity Prayer
    • Principles Of The Program
    • I Am Responsible
    • The Page Of Prayers
  • A.A. History
    • The Emmanuel Movement
    • The Washingtonians
    • Magazine & Newspaper Articles
    • Narrative Of A.A. Timeline
    • Timelines In A.A. History
    • Manuscript Of A.A. World History – Bob P.
    • Place And Things In AA History
    • Who’s Who In A.A. History
    • Big Book Story Authors
    • Writings Of A.A. Members
  • Influential Books
    • A.A. Big Book (164 Pages)
    • Big Book Stories Edition 1
    • Big Book Stories Edition 2
    • Mel B’s Library
    • Dick B.’s Library
    • The Greatest Thing In The World
    • The Varieties Of Religious Experiences
    • In His Steps
    • As A Man Thinketh
    • When Man Listens
    • John Barleycorn
    • The Confessions Of Saint Augustine (13 Books)
    • Religion, Clergy & A.A.
  • Free Stuff
    • Free Audiobooks & Speaker Tapes
    • Videos Of Bill Wilson
    • The PDF Project (1000+ PDF’s)
    • Free AA Apps For iPhone
    • Free AA Apps For Android
    • Free 12 Step Toolkit App
home/Alcoholics Anonymous/Other Articles/Religion, Clergy & A.A.

01-092 “Do You Want To Get Well?”, By Mary Snow. Daughters Of Sarah, Vol. 18: 21, Jan., Feb., 1990

46 views 0 aa

DAUGHTERS OF SARAH, Vol. 18: 21, Jan., Feb., 1990

“DO YOU WANT TO GET WELL?”
by Mary Snow

“Do you want to get well?” Jesus asked the long-term invalid by the pool of Bethesda (John 5:6). Newcomers to Alcoholics Anonymous are often asked, “Are you serious about stopping drinking? Are you willing to go to any lengths to stay sober?” Strange questions. Wouldn’t a paralyzed person want to be healed? Doesn’t an alcoholic long to be free of addiction?

Yet only about half of the alcoholics introduced to A.A. sober up at once, and hundreds of thousands leave A.A. and die drunk. Further, though it is estimated that 20 percent of American alcoholics are female, only a small fraction of them seek help.

Why is it so difficult for women to recover from alcohol addiction (or food or relationship addictions for that matter)? Studies have identified some barriers to entry and completion of alcohol treatment programs for women: inability to find child care, financial limitations, lack of family support, among others. Yet thousands who have received treatment, even with the support of A.A., fail to sustain sobriety. What is wrong? Doesn’t the female addict want to get well?

I propose that one problem for women is their lack of self esteem. Men generally tend to have better self-images than women. Therefore women addicts generally have even less self-respect than male addicts.

The second step in the Twelve Step program is, “We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” However, in light of a woman’s low self-esteem, the problem may not be in accepting a power greater than herself. There are many! Instead it may lie in her sense of unworthiness to be healed at all. Would an alcoholic woman have been among those with enough faith to “impose” upon Jesus to be healed? Not likely!

After five years free of my addiction in a Twelve Step program, I was overwhelmed by guilt and self-loathing. I thought I needed to go back again to the Fifth Step, “admitting to God, to myself, and to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs.” so I confessed what I believed were the worst of my sins to an Episcopalian priest who was knowledgeable about the program.

After I bared my soul to her, she asked, “Do you believe you are lovable?” In all honesty, I replied, “no.”

“That,” she said, “is the first sin you have told me.” She talked to me about my system and God’s system. My system was one of continual self-hate and self-punishment, placing myself in negative situations. God’s system on the other hand, is one of continual love and forgiveness. My system obviously wasn’t working, maybe God’s system would.

Today, four years later, I am totally convinced that the sin that threatens to stand between me and the full healing benefits of God’s love is to believe that I am unlovable. I pray daily for dignity, self-respect, and self-confidence. There are times when I must make a conscious effort to love myself as God loves me, but I do it. I do it because I want to be whole.

Tags:alcoholics anonymous1990other articlesreligion clergy and aaaa

Was this helpful?

Yes  No
Related Articles
  • 01-108 Liberation Spirituality: 60 Years Of A.A., By Neil J. Carr. America, Vol. 172(21), 20-22, June 17, 1995
  • 01-107 Dethroning King Alcohol: Spiritual Steps To Freedom, By Ruth Gledhill. The Tablet, Vol. 249, 104-107, January 28, 1995
  • 01-106 12 Step Programs Work For Many, Not All, By Dawn Gibeau. National Catholic Reporter, Vol. 38: 25, January 21, 1994
  • 01-105 The Clergy’s Role In A.A.’s Fifth Step, By Jack O’Neill. The Priest, Vol. 49: 19-20, March, 1993
  • 01-104 The Spirituality Of Surrender, By John P. Mossi. Review For Religious, Vol. 52: 842-848, Nov./Dec., 1993
  • 01-103 Addiction, Recovery And God, By Irving B. Mace. Living Prayer, Vol. 26(1): 26-26, Jan./Feb., 1993
Popular Articles
  • Chapter XLII – In What Manner Many Sought The Mediator.
  • Chapter XXIV – He Who Finds Truth, Finds God.
  • Earl Marsh, At Georgia State Convention, 1963
  • Sandy Beach, From Tampa Florida At 50th. Florida State Convention. Palm Harbor, August 2006
  • Bill Wilson 3 – Talks To Medical Societies Pamphlet 02
KB Categories
  • The Detroit Pamphlet 4
  • Writings Of A.A. Members 0
    • Henry G. (Hank P. 2
    • Clarence S. 6
    • Bill D. 2
    • Bill W. 19
      • Let's Ask Bill W. 41
      • Bill W. On The 12 Traditions 16
      • Letters – To Jim Burwell From Bill Wilson 18
      • Letters – To Bill Wilson From Jim Burwell 3
      • Talks At General Service Conferences 31
        • Alcoholic Foundation 4
      • Grapevine Articles Of Bill W. 34
        • Grapevine – 12 Steps Of AA 2
        • Grapevine – 12 Traditions Of A.A. 16
    • Ebby Thacher 2
    • Others 13
      • Letters – To Jim Burwell From Bill Wilson 18
      • Letters – To Bill Wilson From Jim Burwell 3
    • Lois W. 7
    • Doctor Bob 10
  • Influential Books 0
    • John Barleycorn 39
    • Big Book Of AA 21
    • Personal Stories – Edition 1 29
    • Personal Stories – Edition 2 40
    • Mel B.'s Library 56
      • The Four Absolutes 17
    • Dick B.'s Library 128
    • The Greatest Thing In The world 5
    • In His Steps 32
    • The Varieties Of Religious Experiences 17
    • As A Man Thinketh 8
    • When Man Listens 6
    • The Confessions Of Saint Augustine 5
      • Book Two 12
      • Book Three 14
      • Book Four 18
      • Book Five 16
      • Book Six 18
      • Book Seven 23
      • Book Eight 14
      • Book Nine 15
      • Book Ten 45
      • Book Eleven 33
      • Book Twelve 34
      • Book Thirteen 40
      • Book One 20
    • Other Books 9
  • Research & Study 14
    • Manuscript Of A.A. World History, 1985 – By Bob P. 23
    • Whos's Who In A.A.'s History 23
    • Big Book Changes 1
    • Magazine And Newspaper Articles 149
    • People In A.A.'s History 26
    • A.A. History – News Articles 8
      • Cleveland Plain Dealer 8
    • Place And Things In AA History 13
    • Dr. William Duncan Silkworth M.D. 12
      • Grapevine Articles Of Dr. William Silkworth 5
    • The Washingtonians 31
      • Grapevine Articles Of The Washingtonians 15
    • Gresham's Law And Alcoholics Anonymous 5
    • A Narrative Of Timeline Of A.A. History 30
    • The Emmanuel Movement 12
    • Tiebout Papers 6
    • Timelines In A.A. History 14
    • Big Book Story Author's 78
    • AA Growth 135
    • Stepping Stone News 1
    • Timelines Of Historic A.A. Events 1
    • Charlie Bishop Jr. 3
  • Audio Books 0
    • Videos 15
    • International Conventions – 2015 184
    • AA Speaker Chuck C. 111
    • AA Big Book Audiobook 14
    • AA Speakers Clergy 220
    • AA Speakers Doctor's 129
    • Sandy B. – Saturday Morning Live 12
    • AA Speaker Sandy B. 74
    • AA Assorted Speakers 195
    • AA Speaker Bill W. 100
    • Joe & Charlie 34
  • A.A. History – General 27
  • Literature 12
    • Big Book Stories Edition 1 29
    • Big Book Stories Edition 2 40
    • The Big Book Concordance 27
    • The Original Manuscript Of AA. 16
    • The First A.A. Pamphlet 8
    • Big Book 18
    • A.A. Prayers 10
  • Al-Anon 14
  • The PDF Project (1000+ PDF's 1
    • Bill W. (172 Articles 4
    • Dr. Bob (24 Articles 1
    • General Service Conference (157 Articles 6
    • Grapevine (51 Articles 5
    • History (437 Articles 52
    • The Big Book (179 Articles 6
  • Grapevine Articles 4
    • Additional A.A. Grapevine Articles 20
    • Big Book Updates 13
    • Other Grapevine Articles 33
    • Grapevine Articles – Interviews 6
    • Grapevine Reproduction 8
  • The History Of Alcoholics Anonymous 6
  • Other Articles 40
    • Printed Book Reviews 26
    • Religion, Clergy & A.A. 108
  • The Global Map 3
    • Africa 0
      • Malawi & Zimbabwe 1
      • Algeria & Morocco 1
      • Mauritania & Western Sahara 1
      • Angola & Zambia 1
      • Namibia & Botswana 1
      • Burkina Faso & Mali 1
      • Nigeria & Niger 1
      • Cameroon 1
      • Reunion & Mauritius 1
      • Central African Republic & Ethiopia 1
      • Rwanda & Burundi 1
      • Comoro Island & Seychelles 1
      • Saint Helena & Equatorial Guinea 1
      • Congo & Gabon 1
      • Sao Tome & Principe 1
      • Cote d'Ivoire & Guinea 1
      • Senegal & Cape Verde 1
      • Egypt 1
      • Somalia 1
      • Eritrea & Djibouti 1
      • South Africa & Lesotho 1
      • Ghana, Togo & Benin 1
      • Sudan & Chad 1
      • Guinea-Bissau & The Gambia 1
      • Swaziland & Mozambique 1
      • Liberia & Sierra Leone 1
      • Tanzania & D. R. Congo 1
      • Libya & Tunisia 1
      • Uganda & Kenya 1
      • Madagascar 1
    • Central America 0
      • Belize 1
      • Costa Rica 1
      • El Salvador 1
      • Guatemala 1
      • Honduras 1
      • Mexico 1
      • Nicaragua 1
      • Panama 1
    • Caribbean 0
      • Dominica 1
      • Virgin Islands 1
      • Grenada 1
      • Guadeloupe 1
      • Haiti 1
      • Anguilla 1
      • Jamaica 1
      • Antiqua 1
      • Margarita 1
      • Aruba 1
      • Martinique 1
      • Bonaire 1
      • Puerto Rico 1
      • Barbados 1
      • Saint Maarten/Saint Martin 1
      • Barbuda 1
      • Saint Barts 1
      • Bahamas 1
      • Saint Lucia 1
      • Bermuda 1
      • Saint Vincent And The Grenadines 1
      • Cuba 1
      • Saba/Saint Eustatius 1
      • Cayman Island 1
      • Saint Kitts And Nevis 1
      • Curacao 1
      • Trinidad And Tobago 1
      • Dominican Republic 1
      • Turks And Caicos 1
    • Middle East 0
      • Jordan 1
      • Kuwait 1
      • Kyrgyzstan 1
      • Lebanon 1
      • Oman 1
      • Qatar 1
      • Syria 1
      • Arabia 1
      • Saudi Arabia 1
      • Azerbaijan 1
      • Tajikistan 1
      • Armenia 1
      • Turkmenistan 1
      • Afghanistan 1
      • Turkey 1
      • Bahrain 1
      • United Arab Emirates 1
      • Cyprus 1
      • Yemen 1
      • Iran 1
      • Iraq 1
      • Israel 1
    • Canada 0
      • Quebec 1
      • Saskatchewan 1
      • Yukon 1
      • Alberta 1
      • British Columbia 2
      • Manitoba 1
      • New Brunswick 1
      • Newfoundland 1
      • Northwest Territories 1
      • Nova Scotia 1
      • Ontario 18
    • South America 0
      • Guyana 1
      • Netherland Antilles (NL 1
      • Peru 1
      • Paraguay 1
      • Suriname 1
      • South Georgia (UK 1
      • Uruguay 1
      • Venezuela 1
      • Aruba (NL 1
      • Argentina 1
      • Bolivia 1
      • Brazil 1
      • Chile 1
      • Ecuador 1
      • French Guiana (France 1
      • Falkland Islands (UK 1
    • United States 0
      • Delaware 1
      • Mississippi 1
      • South Carolina 5
      • Florida 28
      • Missouri 1
      • South Dakota 1
      • Georgia 1
      • Montana 1
      • Tennessee 1
      • Hawaii 1
      • Nebraska 1
      • Texas 6
      • Idaho 1
      • Nevada 1
      • Utah 1
      • Illinois 3
      • New Hampshire 1
      • Vermont 1
      • Indiana 1
      • New Jersey 3
      • Virginia/DC 3
      • Iowa 1
      • New Mexico 1
      • Washington 3
      • Kansas 1
      • New York 1
      • West Virginia 1
      • Alabama 1
      • Kentucky 1
      • North Carolina 2
      • Wisconsin 1
      • Alaska 1
      • Louisiana 1
      • North Dakota 1
      • Wyoming 1
      • Arizona 1
      • Maine 1
      • Ohio 5
      • Arkansas 1
      • Maryland 3
      • Oklahoma 1
      • California 4
      • Massachusetts 1
      • Oregon 1
      • Colorado 1
      • Michigan 4
      • Pennsylvania 6
      • Connecticut 1
      • Minnesota 2
      • Rhode Island 1
    • Europe 0
      • Cyprus 1
      • Liechtenstein 1
      • Sweden 1
      • Czech Republic 1
      • Lithuania 1
      • Switzerland 1
      • Denmark 1
      • Luxembourg 1
      • Turkey 1
      • Estonia 1
      • Malta 1
      • Ukraine 1
      • England 2
      • Macedonia 1
      • Wales 1
      • Finland 1
      • Monaco 1
      • Yugoslavia 1
      • France 1
      • Netherlands 1
      • Germany 1
      • Norway 1
      • Greece 1
      • Poland 1
      • Gibraltar 1
      • Portugal 1
      • Hungary 1
      • Romania 1
      • Austria 1
      • Herzegovina 1
      • Russia 2
      • Andorra 1
      • Iceland 1
      • Scotland 2
      • Belgium 1
      • Ireland 1
      • Slovakia 1
      • Bulgaria 1
      • Italy 1
      • Slovenia 1
      • Croatia.html 1
      • Latvia 1
      • Spain 1
    • General 3
    • Australia (Oceania 0
      • Cook Islands 1
      • Solomon Islands 1
      • Coral Sea Islands 1
      • Tongi 1
      • Federated States Of Micronesia 1
      • Tokelau 1
      • Fiji 1
      • Tuvalu 1
      • French Polynesia 1
      • Vanuatu 1
      • Guam 1
      • Western Samoa 1
      • Kiribati 1
      • Wallis And Futuna Islands 1
      • Marshall Islands 1
      • Northern Mariana Islands 1
      • New Zealand 1
      • Nauru 1
      • New Caledonia 1
      • Niue 1
      • Palau 1
      • Australia 3
      • Papua New Guinea 1
      • American Samoa 1
      • Pitcairn Islands 1
    • Asia 0
      • Bangladesh 1
      • Philippines 1
      • Burma 1
      • Russia 2
      • Bhutan 1
      • South Korea 1
      • China 1
      • Sri Lanka 1
      • Hong Kong 1
      • Thailand 1
      • India 1
      • Taiwan 1
      • Indonesia 1
      • Vietnam 1
      • Japan 1
      • Kazakhstan 1
      • Laos 1
      • Malaysia 1
      • Maldives 1
      • Mongolia 1
      • North Korea 1
      • Nepal 1
      • Pakistan 1
AA Anonymity Statement

Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions.

Please respect this and treat in confidence who you see and what you hear.

About Silkworth.net
  • Privacy Policy
  • Legal Disclaimer
  • Contact Us
External Links
  • Free 12 Step Toolkit App
  • Free AA Apple Apps
  • Free AA Android Apps
  • Silkworth’s YouTube Channel
  • Alcoholics Anonymous (AAWS Inc.)
  • AA Grapevine, International Journal of Alcoholics Anonymous
  • Al-Anon Family (Includes Alateen)
Newsletter Subscription





  • © 2020 silkworth.net. All Rights Reserved