• AA Literature
    • A.A. Big Book
      • A.A. Big Book (164 Pages)
      • Big Book Stories Edition 1
      • Big Book Stories Edition 2
    • A.A. Preamble
    • Singleness of Purpose
    • A.A. 12 Steps
    • A.A. 12 Traditions
    • A.A. 12 Concepts
    • 12 Traditions Checklist
    • 9th Step Promises (Pg 83/84)
    • The Serenity Prayer
    • Principles Of The Program
    • I Am Responsible
    • The Page Of Prayers
  • A.A. History
    • The Emmanuel Movement
    • The Washingtonians
    • Magazine & Newspaper Articles
    • Narrative Of A.A. Timeline
    • Timelines In A.A. History
    • Manuscript Of A.A. World History – Bob P.
    • Place And Things In AA History
    • Who’s Who In A.A. History
    • Big Book Story Authors
    • Writings Of A.A. Members
  • Influential Books
    • A.A. Big Book (164 Pages)
    • Big Book Stories Edition 1
    • Big Book Stories Edition 2
    • Mel B’s Library
    • Dick B.’s Library
    • The Greatest Thing In The World
    • The Varieties Of Religious Experiences
    • In His Steps
    • As A Man Thinketh
    • When Man Listens
    • John Barleycorn
    • The Confessions Of Saint Augustine (13 Books)
    • Religion, Clergy & A.A.
  • Free Stuff
    • Free Audiobooks & Speaker Tapes
    • Videos Of Bill Wilson
    • The PDF Project (1000+ PDF’s)
    • Free AA Apps For iPhone
    • Free AA Apps For Android
    • Free 12 Step Toolkit App
  • AA Literature
    • A.A. Big Book
      • A.A. Big Book (164 Pages)
      • Big Book Stories Edition 1
      • Big Book Stories Edition 2
    • A.A. Preamble
    • Singleness of Purpose
    • A.A. 12 Steps
    • A.A. 12 Traditions
    • A.A. 12 Concepts
    • 12 Traditions Checklist
    • 9th Step Promises (Pg 83/84)
    • The Serenity Prayer
    • Principles Of The Program
    • I Am Responsible
    • The Page Of Prayers
  • A.A. History
    • The Emmanuel Movement
    • The Washingtonians
    • Magazine & Newspaper Articles
    • Narrative Of A.A. Timeline
    • Timelines In A.A. History
    • Manuscript Of A.A. World History – Bob P.
    • Place And Things In AA History
    • Who’s Who In A.A. History
    • Big Book Story Authors
    • Writings Of A.A. Members
  • Influential Books
    • A.A. Big Book (164 Pages)
    • Big Book Stories Edition 1
    • Big Book Stories Edition 2
    • Mel B’s Library
    • Dick B.’s Library
    • The Greatest Thing In The World
    • The Varieties Of Religious Experiences
    • In His Steps
    • As A Man Thinketh
    • When Man Listens
    • John Barleycorn
    • The Confessions Of Saint Augustine (13 Books)
    • Religion, Clergy & A.A.
  • Free Stuff
    • Free Audiobooks & Speaker Tapes
    • Videos Of Bill Wilson
    • The PDF Project (1000+ PDF’s)
    • Free AA Apps For iPhone
    • Free AA Apps For Android
    • Free 12 Step Toolkit App
home/Alcoholics Anonymous/Influential Books/The Confessions Of Saint Augustine/Book Four

Chapter VII – Troubled By Restlessness And Grief, He Leaves His Country A Second Time For Carthage.

43 views 0 aa

BOOK FOUR

CHAPTER VII

12. O madness that knows not how to love men as they should be loved! O foolish man that I was then, enduring with so much rebellion the lot of every man! Thus I fretted, sighed, wept, tormented myself, and took neither rest nor counsel, for I was dragging around my torn and bloody soul. It was impatient of my dragging it around, and yet I could not find a place to lay it down. Not in pleasant groves, nor in sport or song, nor in fragrant bowers, nor in magnificent banquetings, nor in the pleasures of the bed or the couch; not even in books or poetry did it find rest. All things looked gloomy, even the very light itself. Whatsoever was not what he was, was now repulsive and hateful, except my groans and tears, for in those alone I found a little rest. But when my soul left off weeping, a heavy burden of misery weighed me down. It should have been raised up to thee, O Lord, for thee to lighten and to lift. This I knew, but I was neither willing nor able to do; especially since, in my thoughts of thee, thou wast not thyself but only an empty fantasm. Thus my error was my god. If I tried to cast off my burden on this fantasm, that it might find rest there, it sank through the vacuum and came rushing down again upon me. Thus I remained to myself an unhappy lodging where I could neither stay nor leave. For where could my heart fly from my heart? Where could I fly from my own self? Where would I not follow myself? And yet I did flee from my native place so that my eyes would look for him less in a place where they were not accustomed to see him. Thus I left the town of Tagaste and returned to Carthage.

Tags:aaalcoholics anonymousthe confessions of saint augustine

Was this helpful?

Yes  No
Related Articles
  • Book Four
  • Chapter XVI – He Very Easily Understood The Liberal Arts And The Categories Of Aristotle, But Without True Fruit.
  • Chapter XV – While Writing, Being Blinded By Corporeal Images, He Failed To Recognise The Spiritual Nature Of God.
  • Chapter XIV – Concerning The Books Which He Wrote “On The Fair And Fit,” Dedicated To Hierius.
  • Chapter XIII – Love Originates From Grace, And Beauty Enticing Us.
  • Chapter XII – Love Is Not Condemned, But Love In God, In Whom There Is Rest Through Jesus Christ, Is To Be Preferred.
Popular Articles
  • Dr. Tom M., 1987 PNW Conference Ptld.
  • L’Importance Du Groupe D’Attache (French)
  • Viviendo sobrio (Spanish)
  • No Information
  • Serenity Nooners Group, Panama City, Florida – Established On November 15, 1989
KB Categories
  • Literature 12
    • Big Book 18
    • Big Book Stories Edition 1 29
    • Big Book Stories Edition 2 40
    • A.A. Prayers 10
    • The Big Book Concordance 27
    • The Original Manuscript Of AA. 16
    • The First A.A. Pamphlet 8
  • Writings Of A.A. Members 0
    • Bill W. 19
      • Let's Ask Bill W. 41
      • Bill W. On The 12 Traditions 16
      • Letters – To Jim Burwell From Bill Wilson 18
      • Letters – To Bill Wilson From Jim Burwell 3
      • Talks At General Service Conferences 31
        • Alcoholic Foundation 4
      • Grapevine Articles Of Bill W. 34
        • Grapevine – 12 Traditions Of A.A. 16
        • Grapevine – 12 Steps Of AA 2
    • Lois W. 7
    • Doctor Bob 10
    • Henry G. (Hank P. 2
    • Clarence S. 6
    • Bill D. 2
    • Ebby Thacher 2
    • Others 13
      • Letters – To Jim Burwell From Bill Wilson 18
      • Letters – To Bill Wilson From Jim Burwell 3
  • Al-Anon 14
  • Research & Study 14
    • Dr. William Duncan Silkworth M.D. 12
      • Grapevine Articles Of Dr. William Silkworth 5
    • A Narrative Of Timeline Of A.A. History 30
    • Timelines In A.A. History 14
    • Timelines Of Historic A.A. Events 1
    • Manuscript Of A.A. World History, 1985 – By Bob P. 23
    • Magazine And Newspaper Articles 149
    • People In A.A.'s History 26
    • Place And Things In AA History 13
    • The Washingtonians 31
      • Grapevine Articles Of The Washingtonians 15
    • The Emmanuel Movement 12
    • Big Book Story Author's 78
    • Whos's Who In A.A.'s History 23
    • Big Book Changes 1
    • Tiebout Papers 6
    • AA Growth 135
    • Charlie Bishop Jr. 3
    • A.A. History – News Articles 8
      • Cleveland Plain Dealer 8
    • Gresham's Law And Alcoholics Anonymous 5
    • Stepping Stone News 1
  • The PDF Project (1000+ PDF's 1
    • The Big Book (179 Articles 6
    • Bill W. (172 Articles 4
    • Dr. Bob (24 Articles 1
    • General Service Conference (157 Articles 6
    • Grapevine (51 Articles 5
    • History (437 Articles 52
  • Audio Books 0
    • Joe & Charlie 34
    • AA Big Book Audiobook 14
    • Sandy B. – Saturday Morning Live 12
    • AA Speaker Bill W. 100
    • Videos 15
    • International Conventions – 2015 184
    • AA Speaker Chuck C. 111
    • AA Speakers Clergy 220
    • AA Speakers Doctor's 129
    • AA Speaker Sandy B. 74
    • AA Assorted Speakers 195
  • Other Articles 40
    • Printed Book Reviews 26
    • Religion, Clergy & A.A. 108
  • Influential Books 0
    • Big Book Of AA 21
    • Personal Stories – Edition 1 29
    • Personal Stories – Edition 2 40
    • Mel B.'s Library 56
      • The Four Absolutes 17
    • Dick B.'s Library 128
    • The Greatest Thing In The world 5
    • In His Steps 32
    • The Varieties Of Religious Experiences 17
    • As A Man Thinketh 8
    • When Man Listens 6
    • The Confessions Of Saint Augustine 5
      • Book One 20
      • Book Two 12
      • Book Three 14
      • Book Four 18
      • Book Five 16
      • Book Six 18
      • Book Seven 23
      • Book Eight 14
      • Book Nine 15
      • Book Ten 45
      • Book Eleven 33
      • Book Twelve 34
      • Book Thirteen 40
    • Other Books 9
    • John Barleycorn 39
  • Grapevine Articles 4
    • Grapevine Reproduction 8
    • Additional A.A. Grapevine Articles 20
    • Big Book Updates 13
    • Other Grapevine Articles 33
    • Grapevine Articles – Interviews 6
  • The Detroit Pamphlet 4
  • A.A. History – General 27
  • The History Of Alcoholics Anonymous 6
  • The Global Map 3
    • Africa 0
      • Algeria & Morocco 1
      • Angola & Zambia 1
      • Burkina Faso & Mali 1
      • Cameroon 1
      • Central African Republic & Ethiopia 1
      • Comoro Island & Seychelles 1
      • Congo & Gabon 1
      • Cote d'Ivoire & Guinea 1
      • Egypt 1
      • Eritrea & Djibouti 1
      • Ghana, Togo & Benin 1
      • Guinea-Bissau & The Gambia 1
      • Liberia & Sierra Leone 1
      • Libya & Tunisia 1
      • Madagascar 1
      • Malawi & Zimbabwe 1
      • Mauritania & Western Sahara 1
      • Namibia & Botswana 1
      • Nigeria & Niger 1
      • Reunion & Mauritius 1
      • Rwanda & Burundi 1
      • Saint Helena & Equatorial Guinea 1
      • Sao Tome & Principe 1
      • Senegal & Cape Verde 1
      • Somalia 1
      • South Africa & Lesotho 1
      • Sudan & Chad 1
      • Swaziland & Mozambique 1
      • Tanzania & D. R. Congo 1
      • Uganda & Kenya 1
    • Asia 0
      • Bangladesh 1
      • Burma 1
      • Bhutan 1
      • China 1
      • Hong Kong 1
      • India 1
      • Indonesia 1
      • Japan 1
      • Kazakhstan 1
      • Laos 1
      • Malaysia 1
      • Maldives 1
      • Mongolia 1
      • North Korea 1
      • Nepal 1
      • Pakistan 1
      • Philippines 1
      • Russia 2
      • South Korea 1
      • Sri Lanka 1
      • Thailand 1
      • Taiwan 1
      • Vietnam 1
    • Canada 0
      • Alberta 1
      • British Columbia 2
      • Manitoba 1
      • New Brunswick 1
      • Newfoundland 1
      • Northwest Territories 1
      • Nova Scotia 1
      • Ontario 18
      • Quebec 1
      • Saskatchewan 1
      • Yukon 1
    • Caribbean 0
      • Anguilla 1
      • Antiqua 1
      • Aruba 1
      • Bonaire 1
      • Barbados 1
      • Barbuda 1
      • Bahamas 1
      • Bermuda 1
      • Cuba 1
      • Cayman Island 1
      • Curacao 1
      • Dominican Republic 1
      • Dominica 1
      • Grenada 1
      • Guadeloupe 1
      • Haiti 1
      • Jamaica 1
      • Margarita 1
      • Martinique 1
      • Puerto Rico 1
      • Saint Maarten/Saint Martin 1
      • Saint Barts 1
      • Saint Lucia 1
      • Saint Vincent And The Grenadines 1
      • Saba/Saint Eustatius 1
      • Saint Kitts And Nevis 1
      • Trinidad And Tobago 1
      • Turks And Caicos 1
      • Virgin Islands 1
    • Central America 0
      • Belize 1
      • Costa Rica 1
      • El Salvador 1
      • Guatemala 1
      • Honduras 1
      • Mexico 1
      • Nicaragua 1
      • Panama 1
    • Europe 0
      • Austria 1
      • Andorra 1
      • Belgium 1
      • Bulgaria 1
      • Croatia.html 1
      • Cyprus 1
      • Czech Republic 1
      • Denmark 1
      • Estonia 1
      • England 2
      • Finland 1
      • France 1
      • Germany 1
      • Greece 1
      • Gibraltar 1
      • Hungary 1
      • Herzegovina 1
      • Iceland 1
      • Ireland 1
      • Italy 1
      • Latvia 1
      • Liechtenstein 1
      • Lithuania 1
      • Luxembourg 1
      • Malta 1
      • Macedonia 1
      • Monaco 1
      • Netherlands 1
      • Norway 1
      • Poland 1
      • Portugal 1
      • Romania 1
      • Russia 2
      • Scotland 2
      • Slovakia 1
      • Slovenia 1
      • Spain 1
      • Sweden 1
      • Switzerland 1
      • Turkey 1
      • Ukraine 1
      • Wales 1
      • Yugoslavia 1
    • Middle East 0
      • Arabia 1
      • Azerbaijan 1
      • Armenia 1
      • Afghanistan 1
      • Bahrain 1
      • Cyprus 1
      • Iran 1
      • Iraq 1
      • Israel 1
      • Jordan 1
      • Kuwait 1
      • Kyrgyzstan 1
      • Lebanon 1
      • Oman 1
      • Qatar 1
      • Syria 1
      • Saudi Arabia 1
      • Tajikistan 1
      • Turkmenistan 1
      • Turkey 1
      • United Arab Emirates 1
      • Yemen 1
    • Australia (Oceania 0
      • Australia 3
      • American Samoa 1
      • Cook Islands 1
      • Coral Sea Islands 1
      • Federated States Of Micronesia 1
      • Fiji 1
      • French Polynesia 1
      • Guam 1
      • Kiribati 1
      • Marshall Islands 1
      • Northern Mariana Islands 1
      • New Zealand 1
      • Nauru 1
      • New Caledonia 1
      • Niue 1
      • Palau 1
      • Papua New Guinea 1
      • Pitcairn Islands 1
      • Solomon Islands 1
      • Tongi 1
      • Tokelau 1
      • Tuvalu 1
      • Vanuatu 1
      • Western Samoa 1
      • Wallis And Futuna Islands 1
    • South America 0
      • Aruba (NL 1
      • Argentina 1
      • Bolivia 1
      • Brazil 1
      • Chile 1
      • Ecuador 1
      • French Guiana (France 1
      • Falkland Islands (UK 1
      • Guyana 1
      • Netherland Antilles (NL 1
      • Peru 1
      • Paraguay 1
      • Suriname 1
      • South Georgia (UK 1
      • Uruguay 1
      • Venezuela 1
    • United States 0
      • Alabama 1
      • Alaska 1
      • Arizona 1
      • Arkansas 1
      • California 4
      • Colorado 1
      • Connecticut 1
      • Delaware 1
      • Florida 28
      • Georgia 1
      • Hawaii 1
      • Idaho 1
      • Illinois 3
      • Indiana 1
      • Iowa 1
      • Kansas 1
      • Kentucky 1
      • Louisiana 1
      • Maine 1
      • Maryland 3
      • Massachusetts 1
      • Michigan 4
      • Minnesota 2
      • Mississippi 1
      • Missouri 1
      • Montana 1
      • Nebraska 1
      • Nevada 1
      • New Hampshire 1
      • New Jersey 3
      • New Mexico 1
      • New York 1
      • North Carolina 2
      • North Dakota 1
      • Ohio 5
      • Oklahoma 1
      • Oregon 1
      • Pennsylvania 6
      • Rhode Island 1
      • South Carolina 5
      • South Dakota 1
      • Tennessee 1
      • Texas 6
      • Utah 1
      • Vermont 1
      • Virginia/DC 3
      • Washington 3
      • West Virginia 1
      • Wisconsin 1
      • Wyoming 1
    • General 3
AA Anonymity Statement

Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions.

Please respect this and treat in confidence who you see and what you hear.

About Silkworth.net
  • Privacy Policy
  • Legal Disclaimer
  • Contact Us
External Links
  • Free 12 Step Toolkit App
  • Free AA Apple Apps
  • Free AA Android Apps
  • Silkworth’s YouTube Channel
  • Alcoholics Anonymous (AAWS Inc.)
  • AA Grapevine, International Journal of Alcoholics Anonymous
  • Al-Anon Family (Includes Alateen)
Newsletter Subscription





  • © 2020 silkworth.net. All Rights Reserved