• AA Literature
    • A.A. Big Book
      • A.A. Big Book (164 Pages)
      • Big Book Stories Edition 1
      • Big Book Stories Edition 2
    • A.A. Preamble
    • Singleness of Purpose
    • A.A. 12 Steps
    • A.A. 12 Traditions
    • A.A. 12 Concepts
    • 12 Traditions Checklist
    • 9th Step Promises (Pg 83/84)
    • The Serenity Prayer
    • Principles Of The Program
    • I Am Responsible
    • The Page Of Prayers
  • A.A. History
    • The Emmanuel Movement
    • The Washingtonians
    • Magazine & Newspaper Articles
    • Narrative Of A.A. Timeline
    • Timelines In A.A. History
    • Manuscript Of A.A. World History – Bob P.
    • Place And Things In AA History
    • Who’s Who In A.A. History
    • Big Book Story Authors
    • Writings Of A.A. Members
  • Influential Books
    • A.A. Big Book (164 Pages)
    • Big Book Stories Edition 1
    • Big Book Stories Edition 2
    • Mel B’s Library
    • Dick B.’s Library
    • The Greatest Thing In The World
    • The Varieties Of Religious Experiences
    • In His Steps
    • As A Man Thinketh
    • When Man Listens
    • John Barleycorn
    • The Confessions Of Saint Augustine (13 Books)
    • Religion, Clergy & A.A.
  • Free Stuff
    • Free Audiobooks & Speaker Tapes
    • Videos Of Bill Wilson
    • The PDF Project (1000+ PDF’s)
    • Free AA Apps For iPhone
    • Free AA Apps For Android
    • Free 12 Step Toolkit App
  • AA Literature
    • A.A. Big Book
      • A.A. Big Book (164 Pages)
      • Big Book Stories Edition 1
      • Big Book Stories Edition 2
    • A.A. Preamble
    • Singleness of Purpose
    • A.A. 12 Steps
    • A.A. 12 Traditions
    • A.A. 12 Concepts
    • 12 Traditions Checklist
    • 9th Step Promises (Pg 83/84)
    • The Serenity Prayer
    • Principles Of The Program
    • I Am Responsible
    • The Page Of Prayers
  • A.A. History
    • The Emmanuel Movement
    • The Washingtonians
    • Magazine & Newspaper Articles
    • Narrative Of A.A. Timeline
    • Timelines In A.A. History
    • Manuscript Of A.A. World History – Bob P.
    • Place And Things In AA History
    • Who’s Who In A.A. History
    • Big Book Story Authors
    • Writings Of A.A. Members
  • Influential Books
    • A.A. Big Book (164 Pages)
    • Big Book Stories Edition 1
    • Big Book Stories Edition 2
    • Mel B’s Library
    • Dick B.’s Library
    • The Greatest Thing In The World
    • The Varieties Of Religious Experiences
    • In His Steps
    • As A Man Thinketh
    • When Man Listens
    • John Barleycorn
    • The Confessions Of Saint Augustine (13 Books)
    • Religion, Clergy & A.A.
  • Free Stuff
    • Free Audiobooks & Speaker Tapes
    • Videos Of Bill Wilson
    • The PDF Project (1000+ PDF’s)
    • Free AA Apps For iPhone
    • Free AA Apps For Android
    • Free 12 Step Toolkit App
home/Alcoholics Anonymous/Influential Books/John Barleycorn

Chapter XXIX

13 views 0 aa

John Barleycorn by Jack London

Chapter XXIX

After my long sickness my drinking continued to be convivial. I drank when others drank and I was with them. But, imperceptibly, my need for alcohol took form and began to grow. It was not a body need. I boxed, swam, sailed, rode horses, lived in the open an arrantly healthful life, and passed life insurance examinations with flying colours. In its inception, now that I look back upon it, this need for alcohol was a mental need, a nerve need, a good- spirits need. How can I explain?

It was something like this. Physiologically, from the standpoint of palate and stomach, alcohol was, as it had always been, repulsive. It tasted no better than beer did when I was five, than bitter claret did when I was seven. When I was alone, writing or studying, I had no need for it. But–I was growing old, or wise, or both, or senile as an alternative. When I was in company I was less pleased, less excited, with the things said and done. Erstwhile worth-while fun and stunts seemed no longer worth while; and it was a torment to listen to the insipidities and stupidities of women, to the pompous, arrogant sayings of the little half-baked men. It is the penalty one pays for reading the books too much, or for being oneself a fool. In my case it does not matter which was my trouble. The trouble itself was the fact. The condition of the fact was mine. For me the life, and light, and sparkle of human intercourse were dwindling.

I had climbed too high among the stars, or, maybe, I had slept too hard. Yet I was not hysterical nor in any way overwrought. My pulse was normal. My heart was an amazement of excellence to the insurance doctors. My lungs threw the said doctors into ecstasies. I wrote a thousand words every day. I was punctiliously exact in dealing with all the affairs of life that fell to my lot. I exercised in joy and gladness. I slept at night like a babe. But–

Well, as soon as I got out in the company of others I was driven to melancholy and spiritual tears. I could neither laugh with nor at the solemn utterances of men I esteemed ponderous asses; nor could I laugh, nor engage in my old-time lightsome persiflage, with the silly superficial chatterings of women, who, underneath all their silliness and softness, were as primitive, direct, and deadly in their pursuit of biological destiny as the monkeys women were before they shed their furry coats and replaced them with the furs of other animals.

And I was not pessimistic. I swear I was not pessimistic. I was merely bored. I had seen the same show too often, listened too often to the same songs and the same jokes. I knew too much about the box office receipts. I knew the cogs of the machinery behind the scenes so well that the posing on the stage, and the laughter and the song, could not drown the creaking of the wheels behind.

It doesn’t pay to go behind the scenes and see the angel-voiced tenor beat his wife. Well, I’d been behind, and I was paying for it. Or else I was a fool. It is immaterial which was my situation. The situation is what counts, and the situation was that social intercourse for me was getting painful and difficult. On the other hand, it must be stated that on rare occasions, on very rare occasions, I did meet rare souls, or fools like me, with whom I could spend magnificent hours among the stars, or in the paradise of fools. I was married to a rare soul, or a fool, who never bored me and who was always a source of new and unending surprise and delight. But I could not spend all my hours solely in her company.

Nor would it have been fair, nor wise, to compel her to spend all her hours in my company. Besides, I had written a string of successful books, and society demands some portion of the recreative hours of a fellow that writes books. And any normal man, of himself and his needs, demands some hours of his fellow men.

And now we begin to come to it. How to face the social intercourse game with the glamour gone? John Barleycorn. The ever patient one had waited a quarter of a century and more for me to reach my hand out in need of him. His thousand tricks had failed, thanks to my constitution and good luck, but he had more tricks in his bag. A cocktail or two, or several, I found, cheered me up for the foolishness of foolish people. A cocktail, or several, before dinner, enabled me to laugh whole-heartedly at things which had long since ceased being laughable. The cocktail was a prod, a spur, a kick, to my jaded mind and bored spirits. It recrudesced the laughter and the song, and put a lilt into my own imagination so that I could laugh and sing and say foolish things with the liveliest of them, or platitudes with verve and intensity to the satisfaction of the pompous mediocre ones who knew no other way to talk.

A poor companion without a cocktail, I became a very good companion with one. I achieved a false exhilaration, drugged myself to merriment. And the thing began so imperceptibly that I, old intimate of John Barleycorn, never dreamed whither it was leading me. I was beginning to call for music and wine; soon I should be calling for madder music and more wine.

It was at this time I became aware of waiting with expectancy for the pre-dinner cocktail. I WANTED it, and I was CONSCIOUS that I wanted it. I remember, while war-corresponding in the Far East, of being irresistibly attracted to a certain home. Besides accepting all invitations to dinner, I made a point of dropping in almost every afternoon. Now, the hostess was a charming woman, but it was not for her sake that I was under her roof so frequently. It happened that she made by far the finest cocktail procurable in that large city where drink-mixing on the part of the foreign population was indeed an art. Up at the club, down at the hotels, and in other private houses, no such cocktails were created. Her cocktails were subtle. They were masterpieces. They were the least repulsive to the palate and carried the most “kick.” And yet, I desired her cocktails only for sociability’s sake, to key myself to sociable moods. When I rode away from that city, across hundreds of miles of rice-fields and mountains, and through months of campaigning, and on with the victorious Japanese into Manchuria, I did not drink. Several bottles of whisky were always to be found on the backs of my pack-horses. Yet I never broached a bottle for myself, never took a drink by myself, and never knew a desire to take such a drink. Oh, if a white man came into my camp, I opened a bottle and we drank together according to the way of men, just as he would open a bottle and drink with me if I came into his camp. I carried that whisky for social purposes, and I so charged it up in my expense account to the newspaper for which I worked.

Only in retrospect can I mark the almost imperceptible growth of my desire. There were little hints then that I did not take, little straws in the wind that I did not see, little incidents the gravity of which I did not realise.

For instance, for some years it had been my practice each winter to cruise for six or eight weeks on San Francisco Bay. My stout sloop yacht, the Spray, had a comfortable cabin and a coal stove. A Korean boy did the cooking, and I usually took a friend or so along to share the joys of the cruise. Also, I took my machine along and did my thousand words a day. On the particular trip I have in mind, Cloudesley and Toddy came along. This was Toddy’s first trip. On previous trips Cloudesley had elected to drink beer; so I had kept the yacht supplied with beer and had drunk beer with him.

But on this cruise the situation was different. Toddy was so nicknamed because of his diabolical cleverness in concocting toddies. So I brought whisky along–a couple of gallons. Alas! Many another gallon I bought, for Cloudesley and I got into the habit of drinking a certain hot toddy that actually tasted delicious going down and that carried the most exhilarating kick imaginable.

I liked those toddies. I grew to look forward to the making of them. We drank them regularly, one before breakfast, one before dinner, one before supper, and a final one when we went to bed. We never got drunk. But I will say that four times a day we were very genial. And when, in the middle of the cruise, Toddy was called back to San Francisco on business, Cloudesley and I saw to it that the Korean boy mixed toddies regularly for us according to formula.

But that was only on the boat. Back on the land, in my house, I took no before breakfast eye-opener, no bed-going nightcap. And I haven’t drunk hot toddies since, and that was many a year ago. But the point is, I LIKED those toddies. The geniality of which they were provocative was marvellous. They were eloquent proselyters for John Barleycorn in their own small insidious way. They were tickles of the something destined to grow into daily and deadly desire. And I didn’t know, never dreamed–I, who had lived with John Barleycorn for so many years and laughed at all his unavailing attempts to win me.

Tags:aaalcoholics anonymousjohn barleycornjack london

Was this helpful?

Yes  No
Related Articles
  • Chapter XXXIX
  • Chapter XXXVIII
  • Chapter XXXVII
  • Chapter XXXVI
  • Chapter XXXV
  • Chapter XXXIV
Popular Articles
  • No Information
  • Step Six
  • No Information
  • East York Group Celebrates 30 Years
  • Church Group – A Brief History – Pennsville, New Jersey
KB Categories
  • Literature 12
    • Big Book 18
    • Big Book Stories Edition 1 29
    • Big Book Stories Edition 2 40
    • A.A. Prayers 10
    • The Big Book Concordance 27
    • The Original Manuscript Of AA. 16
    • The First A.A. Pamphlet 8
  • Writings Of A.A. Members 0
    • Bill W. 19
      • Let's Ask Bill W. 41
      • Bill W. On The 12 Traditions 16
      • Letters – To Jim Burwell From Bill Wilson 18
      • Letters – To Bill Wilson From Jim Burwell 3
      • Talks At General Service Conferences 31
        • Alcoholic Foundation 4
      • Grapevine Articles Of Bill W. 34
        • Grapevine – 12 Traditions Of A.A. 16
        • Grapevine – 12 Steps Of AA 2
    • Lois W. 7
    • Doctor Bob 10
    • Henry G. (Hank P. 2
    • Clarence S. 6
    • Bill D. 2
    • Ebby Thacher 2
    • Others 13
      • Letters – To Jim Burwell From Bill Wilson 18
      • Letters – To Bill Wilson From Jim Burwell 3
  • Al-Anon 14
  • Research & Study 13
    • Dr. William Duncan Silkworth M.D. 12
      • Grapevine Articles Of Dr. William Silkworth 5
    • A Narrative Of Timeline Of A.A. History 30
    • Timelines In A.A. History 14
    • Timelines Of Historic A.A. Events 1
    • Manuscript Of A.A. World History, 1985 – By Bob P. 23
    • Magazine And Newspaper Articles 149
    • People In A.A.'s History 26
    • Place And Things In AA History 13
    • The Washingtonians 31
      • Grapevine Articles Of The Washingtonians 15
    • The Emmanuel Movement 12
    • Big Book Story Author's 78
    • Whos's Who In A.A.'s History 23
    • Big Book Changes 1
    • Tiebout Papers 6
    • AA Growth 135
    • Charlie Bishop Jr. 3
    • A.A. History – News Articles 8
      • Cleveland Plain Dealer 8
    • Gresham's Law And Alcoholics Anonymous 5
  • The PDF Project (1000+ PDF's 1
    • The Big Book (179 Articles 6
    • Bill W. (172 Articles 4
    • Dr. Bob (24 Articles 1
    • General Service Conference (157 Articles 6
    • Grapevine (51 Articles 5
    • History (437 Articles 52
  • Audio Books 0
    • Joe & Charlie 34
    • AA Big Book Audiobook 14
    • Sandy B. – Saturday Morning Live 12
    • AA Speaker Bill W. 100
    • Videos 15
    • International Conventions – 2015 184
    • AA Speaker Chuck C. 111
    • AA Speakers Clergy 220
    • AA Speakers Doctor's 129
    • AA Speaker Sandy B. 74
    • AA Assorted Speakers 195
  • Other Articles 39
    • Printed Book Reviews 26
    • Religion, Clergy & A.A. 108
  • Influential Books 0
    • Big Book Of AA 21
    • Personal Stories – Edition 1 29
    • Personal Stories – Edition 2 40
    • Mel B.'s Library 56
      • The Four Absolutes 17
    • Dick B.'s Library 128
    • The Greatest Thing In The world 5
    • In His Steps 32
    • The Varieties Of Religious Experiences 17
    • As A Man Thinketh 8
    • When Man Listens 6
    • The Confessions Of Saint Augustine 5
      • Book One 20
      • Book Two 12
      • Book Three 14
      • Book Four 18
      • Book Five 16
      • Book Six 18
      • Book Seven 23
      • Book Eight 14
      • Book Nine 15
      • Book Ten 45
      • Book Eleven 33
      • Book Twelve 34
      • Book Thirteen 40
    • Other Books 9
    • John Barleycorn 39
  • Grapevine Articles 4
    • Grapevine Reproduction 8
    • Additional A.A. Grapevine Articles 20
    • Big Book Updates 13
    • Other Grapevine Articles 33
    • Grapevine Articles – Interviews 6
  • The Detroit Pamphlet 4
  • A.A. History – General 27
  • The History Of Alcoholics Anonymous 6
  • The Global Map 3
    • Africa 0
      • Algeria & Morocco 1
      • Angola & Zambia 1
      • Burkina Faso & Mali 1
      • Cameroon 1
      • Central African Republic & Ethiopia 1
      • Comoro Island & Seychelles 1
      • Congo & Gabon 1
      • Cote d'Ivoire & Guinea 1
      • Egypt 1
      • Eritrea & Djibouti 1
      • Ghana, Togo & Benin 1
      • Guinea-Bissau & The Gambia 1
      • Liberia & Sierra Leone 1
      • Libya & Tunisia 1
      • Madagascar 1
      • Malawi & Zimbabwe 1
      • Mauritania & Western Sahara 1
      • Namibia & Botswana 1
      • Nigeria & Niger 1
      • Reunion & Mauritius 1
      • Rwanda & Burundi 1
      • Saint Helena & Equatorial Guinea 1
      • Sao Tome & Principe 1
      • Senegal & Cape Verde 1
      • Somalia 1
      • South Africa & Lesotho 1
      • Sudan & Chad 1
      • Swaziland & Mozambique 1
      • Tanzania & D. R. Congo 1
      • Uganda & Kenya 1
    • Asia 0
      • Bangladesh 1
      • Burma 1
      • Bhutan 1
      • China 1
      • Hong Kong 1
      • India 1
      • Indonesia 1
      • Japan 1
      • Kazakhstan 1
      • Laos 1
      • Malaysia 1
      • Maldives 1
      • Mongolia 1
      • North Korea 1
      • Nepal 1
      • Pakistan 1
      • Philippines 1
      • Russia 2
      • South Korea 1
      • Sri Lanka 1
      • Thailand 1
      • Taiwan 1
      • Vietnam 1
    • Canada 0
      • Alberta 1
      • British Columbia 2
      • Manitoba 1
      • New Brunswick 1
      • Newfoundland 1
      • Northwest Territories 1
      • Nova Scotia 1
      • Ontario 18
      • Quebec 1
      • Saskatchewan 1
      • Yukon 1
    • Caribbean 0
      • Anguilla 1
      • Antiqua 1
      • Aruba 1
      • Bonaire 1
      • Barbados 1
      • Barbuda 1
      • Bahamas 1
      • Bermuda 1
      • Cuba 1
      • Cayman Island 1
      • Curacao 1
      • Dominican Republic 1
      • Dominica 1
      • Grenada 1
      • Guadeloupe 1
      • Haiti 1
      • Jamaica 1
      • Margarita 1
      • Martinique 1
      • Puerto Rico 1
      • Saint Maarten/Saint Martin 1
      • Saint Barts 1
      • Saint Lucia 1
      • Saint Vincent And The Grenadines 1
      • Saba/Saint Eustatius 1
      • Saint Kitts And Nevis 1
      • Trinidad And Tobago 1
      • Turks And Caicos 1
      • Virgin Islands 1
    • Central America 0
      • Belize 1
      • Costa Rica 1
      • El Salvador 1
      • Guatemala 1
      • Honduras 1
      • Mexico 1
      • Nicaragua 1
      • Panama 1
    • Europe 0
      • Austria 1
      • Andorra 1
      • Belgium 1
      • Bulgaria 1
      • Croatia.html 1
      • Cyprus 1
      • Czech Republic 1
      • Denmark 1
      • Estonia 1
      • England 2
      • Finland 1
      • France 1
      • Germany 1
      • Greece 1
      • Gibraltar 1
      • Hungary 1
      • Herzegovina 1
      • Iceland 1
      • Ireland 1
      • Italy 1
      • Latvia 1
      • Liechtenstein 1
      • Lithuania 1
      • Luxembourg 1
      • Malta 1
      • Macedonia 1
      • Monaco 1
      • Netherlands 1
      • Norway 1
      • Poland 1
      • Portugal 1
      • Romania 1
      • Russia 2
      • Scotland 2
      • Slovakia 1
      • Slovenia 1
      • Spain 1
      • Sweden 1
      • Switzerland 1
      • Turkey 1
      • Ukraine 1
      • Wales 1
      • Yugoslavia 1
    • Middle East 0
      • Arabia 1
      • Azerbaijan 1
      • Armenia 1
      • Afghanistan 1
      • Bahrain 1
      • Cyprus 1
      • Iran 1
      • Iraq 1
      • Israel 1
      • Jordan 1
      • Kuwait 1
      • Kyrgyzstan 1
      • Lebanon 1
      • Oman 1
      • Qatar 1
      • Syria 1
      • Saudi Arabia 1
      • Tajikistan 1
      • Turkmenistan 1
      • Turkey 1
      • United Arab Emirates 1
      • Yemen 1
    • Australia (Oceania 0
      • Australia 3
      • American Samoa 1
      • Cook Islands 1
      • Coral Sea Islands 1
      • Federated States Of Micronesia 1
      • Fiji 1
      • French Polynesia 1
      • Guam 1
      • Kiribati 1
      • Marshall Islands 1
      • Northern Mariana Islands 1
      • New Zealand 1
      • Nauru 1
      • New Caledonia 1
      • Niue 1
      • Palau 1
      • Papua New Guinea 1
      • Pitcairn Islands 1
      • Solomon Islands 1
      • Tongi 1
      • Tokelau 1
      • Tuvalu 1
      • Vanuatu 1
      • Western Samoa 1
      • Wallis And Futuna Islands 1
    • South America 0
      • Aruba (NL 1
      • Argentina 1
      • Bolivia 1
      • Brazil 1
      • Chile 1
      • Ecuador 1
      • French Guiana (France 1
      • Falkland Islands (UK 1
      • Guyana 1
      • Netherland Antilles (NL 1
      • Peru 1
      • Paraguay 1
      • Suriname 1
      • South Georgia (UK 1
      • Uruguay 1
      • Venezuela 1
    • United States 0
      • Alabama 1
      • Alaska 1
      • Arizona 1
      • Arkansas 1
      • California 4
      • Colorado 1
      • Connecticut 1
      • Delaware 1
      • Florida 28
      • Georgia 1
      • Hawaii 1
      • Idaho 1
      • Illinois 3
      • Indiana 1
      • Iowa 1
      • Kansas 1
      • Kentucky 1
      • Louisiana 1
      • Maine 1
      • Maryland 3
      • Massachusetts 1
      • Michigan 4
      • Minnesota 2
      • Mississippi 1
      • Missouri 1
      • Montana 1
      • Nebraska 1
      • Nevada 1
      • New Hampshire 1
      • New Jersey 3
      • New Mexico 1
      • New York 1
      • North Carolina 2
      • North Dakota 1
      • Ohio 5
      • Oklahoma 1
      • Oregon 1
      • Pennsylvania 6
      • Rhode Island 1
      • South Carolina 5
      • South Dakota 1
      • Tennessee 1
      • Texas 6
      • Utah 1
      • Vermont 1
      • Virginia/DC 3
      • Washington 3
      • West Virginia 1
      • Wisconsin 1
      • Wyoming 1
    • General 3
AA Anonymity Statement

Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions.

Please respect this and treat in confidence who you see and what you hear.

About Silkworth.net
  • Privacy Policy
  • Legal Disclaimer
  • Contact Us
External Links
  • Free 12 Step Toolkit App
  • Free AA Apple Apps
  • Free AA Android Apps
  • Silkworth’s YouTube Channel
  • Alcoholics Anonymous (AAWS Inc.)
  • AA Grapevine, International Journal of Alcoholics Anonymous
  • Al-Anon Family (Includes Alateen)
Newsletter Subscription





  • © 2020 silkworth.net. All Rights Reserved