• AA Literature
    • A.A. Big Book
      • A.A. Big Book (164 Pages)
      • Big Book Stories Edition 1
      • Big Book Stories Edition 2
    • A.A. Preamble
    • Singleness of Purpose
    • A.A. 12 Steps
    • A.A. 12 Traditions
    • A.A. 12 Concepts
    • 12 Traditions Checklist
    • 9th Step Promises (Pg 83/84)
    • The Serenity Prayer
    • Principles Of The Program
    • I Am Responsible
    • The Page Of Prayers
  • A.A. History
    • The Emmanuel Movement
    • The Washingtonians
    • Magazine & Newspaper Articles
    • Narrative Of A.A. Timeline
    • Timelines In A.A. History
    • Manuscript Of A.A. World History – Bob P.
    • Place And Things In AA History
    • Who’s Who In A.A. History
    • Big Book Story Authors
    • Writings Of A.A. Members
  • Influential Books
    • A.A. Big Book (164 Pages)
    • Big Book Stories Edition 1
    • Big Book Stories Edition 2
    • Mel B’s Library
    • Dick B.’s Library
    • The Greatest Thing In The World
    • The Varieties Of Religious Experiences
    • In His Steps
    • As A Man Thinketh
    • When Man Listens
    • John Barleycorn
    • The Confessions Of Saint Augustine (13 Books)
    • Religion, Clergy & A.A.
  • Free Stuff
    • Free Audiobooks & Speaker Tapes
    • Videos Of Bill Wilson
    • The PDF Project (1000+ PDF’s)
    • Free AA Apps For iPhone
    • Free AA Apps For Android
    • Free 12 Step Toolkit App
  • 10-Days To Sobriety
  • AA Literature
    • A.A. Big Book
      • A.A. Big Book (164 Pages)
      • Big Book Stories Edition 1
      • Big Book Stories Edition 2
    • A.A. Preamble
    • Singleness of Purpose
    • A.A. 12 Steps
    • A.A. 12 Traditions
    • A.A. 12 Concepts
    • 12 Traditions Checklist
    • 9th Step Promises (Pg 83/84)
    • The Serenity Prayer
    • Principles Of The Program
    • I Am Responsible
    • The Page Of Prayers
  • A.A. History
    • The Emmanuel Movement
    • The Washingtonians
    • Magazine & Newspaper Articles
    • Narrative Of A.A. Timeline
    • Timelines In A.A. History
    • Manuscript Of A.A. World History – Bob P.
    • Place And Things In AA History
    • Who’s Who In A.A. History
    • Big Book Story Authors
    • Writings Of A.A. Members
  • Influential Books
    • A.A. Big Book (164 Pages)
    • Big Book Stories Edition 1
    • Big Book Stories Edition 2
    • Mel B’s Library
    • Dick B.’s Library
    • The Greatest Thing In The World
    • The Varieties Of Religious Experiences
    • In His Steps
    • As A Man Thinketh
    • When Man Listens
    • John Barleycorn
    • The Confessions Of Saint Augustine (13 Books)
    • Religion, Clergy & A.A.
  • Free Stuff
    • Free Audiobooks & Speaker Tapes
    • Videos Of Bill Wilson
    • The PDF Project (1000+ PDF’s)
    • Free AA Apps For iPhone
    • Free AA Apps For Android
    • Free 12 Step Toolkit App
  • 10-Days To Sobriety
home/Alcoholics Anonymous/Writings Of A.A. Members/Bill W./Grapevine Articles Of Bill W./Grapevine - 12 Steps Of AA

Step Five – Building An Arch

974 views 0 aa

Step Five – Building An Arch

Copyright © The A.A. Grapevine, Inc., March 1989

I first heard about Step Five from my sponsor. He had recently taken him, and it didn’t sound like fun. His immediate reaction to his own “spiritual house cleaning” was to launch me upon a Fourth Step. He wanted to give away what he’d received. I thought, “What happened to ‘This is a selfish program’?”

Step Four took a very long time. At all of it I balked. I thought I could find an easier, softer way, but I could not. With all the earnestness at his command, my sponsor became cunning, baffling, and powerful, constantly reminding me that half measures availed me nothing. I hated him.

The day finally came when even I had to admit that I’d completed Step Four to the best of my ability. That’s what had me so upset. The best of my ability didn’t look so hot in those days. I called my sponsor to tell him I’d finished, expecting to take a six-month to a one-year sabbatical from the Steps after this arduous trek into my life. That’s when he lowered the boom. “Great,” he said. “The best time to take the Fifth Step is right after you finish the Fourth. Meet me at my home tomorrow at six.” Son of a gun! “Who do you think you are?” I thought, but aloud I said “Okay, I’ll be there.”

I hung up the phone and said to myself, “I bet Bill W. didn’t have to go through this!” I used to think the Big Book referred to Step Five when it said, “What an order! I can’t go through with it.” I thought, how can talking about all this junk that I never wanted to write down in the first place make any difference?

By the time I finished Step Five, I knew that I was well on my way toward “building an arch” through which I would “walk a free man.” What happened? Did God convert me into a religious AA dervish? Was I brainwashed by some mystical technique into an AA true believer? Did I go into permanent shock? None of these things happened. The truth is much simpler. Step Five simply accomplished exactly what I was promised, based on the tried and tested experience of Alcoholics Anonymous.

This is what happened. For starters, I had prepared for Step Five by making a beginning on the previous Steps. I had my Fourth Step inventory which had given me new awareness, albeit a not completely objective one. Nevertheless, I had it. Though the temptation to avoid sharing with “another human being” was nearly overwhelming, my fear of not following my sponsor’s instructions to the letter was even greater.

I arrived at my sponsor’s home promptly at six. I didn’t want to be late for my “funeral.” He ushered me into the living room and 1 sat in what was obviously the condemned man’s chair. Given to redundancies in times of hysteria, I commented on the weather at least twice, and God only knows how many times I mentioned the state of local AA affairs. Then my sponsor said those terrible words: “Why don’t you get out your Fourth Step so we can get started.”

I feared that doors automatically sealed themselves during Fifth Steps. But I prayed to God and “asked His protection and care with complete abandon.” “Okay, where do you want to begin,” I asked, hoping for mercy. “Why don’t we begin with your grudge list,” my sponsor said. “But before we begin,” he added, “why don’t we pray and ask our Higher Power for guidance. After all, this is a three-way deal. God is very much a part of this. It’s his grace that brought you here.”

Sometimes sponsors can really surprise you. This was one of those rare times. We prayed, then he became his old self again, indicating that it was time I began. We went over my grudge list, item by item. I read and explained. He listened and commented. Before we were halfway through the list, I began to realize that the advice, counseling, and experience he shared was not only his but that of others as well. It was the experience of one drunk talking to another, but it was also the resonating voices of countless men and women in AA who had shared their experience, strength and hope with each other. Was this God-consciousness? I wondered as I continued my disclosures.

Finishing the grudge list, we assailed my list of fears. To my surprise, I discovered my sponsor and I shared some of the same ones. By this time, occasional laughter interspersed the more serious portions of the unfolding panorama of my life. I was beginning to feel a sense of relief. It continued to grow even as we discussed pertinent aspects of my “list of major human failings the Seven Deadly Sins.” It was incredible! As years of humiliation, pride, and fear fell away into harmless debris, my sense of isolation actually began to dissipate. I no longer felt like a freak, a pathetic caricature of humanity, incapable of integrating myself into the world about me. The existence of God’s presence was no theory; it was fact. God was with us and my cup did indeed run over. It overflowed with his love as it was translated into the experience, strength, and hope of two twentieth-century alcoholics joined in the miracle of a spiritual awakening known as recovery.

Those secrets that I’d sworn to take to my grave were now dead and buried under the fertile soil of new freedom nurtured by truth and sharing and laughter, moistened by tears of relief and joy, and warmed by the sunlight of the spirit. “Step Five works! It really does!” I marveled. I knew now that the man who was leaving was not the same man who had fearfully entered this Fifth Step sanctuary just a few hours previously.

Today, after many revisits to Step Five, I know that my initial experience was no fluke, that “God does move in a mysterious way his wonders to perform,” and that Step Five is one of those wonders. I’ve also been privileged to share in the Fifth Step experiences of others. Since there is nothing like personal experience to qualify one for this extremely personal spiritual awakening, I would suggest having done the Fifth Step as a prerequisite for hearing someone else’s. We must be prepared to share our own Fifth Step disclosures, laughter, and tears so that the experience of others might be as profound as our own. Being able to keep confidential the disclosures of others is also essential. This experience is only between God and ourselves.

Franklin D. Roosevelt said, in his first inaugural address, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself” If we’re willing to expose the pages of our lives to the love and understanding of our Higher Power and a fellow alcoholic, we’ll surely know a new freedom and a new happiness. We’ll discover that love is never having to feel alone again; that God’s presence in our lives has become profound; and that the unity of the Fellowship of the spirit can be ours so long as we are willing to pass it on.

Chico C., West Palm Beach, Florida

Copyright © The A.A. Grapevine, Inc., March 1989

Tags:aabig bookaa grapevine12 steps of aaalcoholics anonymous

Was this helpful?

Yes  No
Related Articles
  • The Second Step – A Measure Of Hope
Popular Articles
  • Feliz, Alegre Y Sobrio (Spanish)
  • David A. From Texas At Joplin Missouri, 27th August 1994
  • Sandy Beach, Tampa Florida, 7th December 2006, Thursday Night Speaker Las Vegas Nevada
  • 01-066 From A.A. – A Lesson, By Jesse Helms. The Presbyterian Journal, May 12, 1971
  • Paradox Of Giving
KB Categories
  • Audio Books 0
    • AA Speaker Bill W. 100
    • Joe & Charlie 34
    • Videos 15
    • International Conventions – 2015 184
    • AA Speaker Chuck C. 111
    • AA Big Book Audiobook 14
    • AA Speakers Clergy 220
    • AA Speakers Doctor's 129
    • Sandy B. – Saturday Morning Live 12
    • AA Speaker Sandy B. 74
    • AA Assorted Speakers 195
  • A.A. History – General 27
  • Literature 12
    • Big Book 18
    • A.A. Prayers 10
    • Big Book Stories Edition 1 29
    • Big Book Stories Edition 2 40
    • The Big Book Concordance 27
    • The Original Manuscript Of AA. 16
    • The First A.A. Pamphlet 8
  • Al-Anon 14
  • The PDF Project (1000+ PDF's 1
    • The Big Book (179 Articles 6
    • Bill W. (172 Articles 4
    • Dr. Bob (24 Articles 1
    • General Service Conference (157 Articles 6
    • Grapevine (51 Articles 5
    • History (437 Articles 52
  • Grapevine Articles 4
    • Grapevine Reproduction 8
    • Additional A.A. Grapevine Articles 20
    • Big Book Updates 13
    • Other Grapevine Articles 33
    • Grapevine Articles – Interviews 6
  • The History Of Alcoholics Anonymous 6
  • Other Articles 41
    • Printed Book Reviews 26
    • Religion, Clergy & A.A. 108
  • The Global Map 3
    • Australia (Oceania 0
      • Palau 1
      • Australia 3
      • Papua New Guinea 1
      • American Samoa 1
      • Pitcairn Islands 1
      • Cook Islands 1
      • Solomon Islands 1
      • Coral Sea Islands 1
      • Tongi 1
      • Federated States Of Micronesia 1
      • Tokelau 1
      • Fiji 1
      • Tuvalu 1
      • French Polynesia 1
      • Vanuatu 1
      • Guam 1
      • Western Samoa 1
      • Kiribati 1
      • Wallis And Futuna Islands 1
      • Marshall Islands 1
      • Northern Mariana Islands 1
      • New Zealand 1
      • Nauru 1
      • New Caledonia 1
      • Niue 1
    • Asia 0
      • North Korea 1
      • Nepal 1
      • Pakistan 1
      • Bangladesh 1
      • Philippines 1
      • Burma 1
      • Russia 2
      • Bhutan 1
      • South Korea 1
      • China 1
      • Sri Lanka 1
      • Hong Kong 1
      • Thailand 1
      • India 1
      • Taiwan 1
      • Indonesia 1
      • Vietnam 1
      • Japan 1
      • Kazakhstan 1
      • Laos 1
      • Malaysia 1
      • Maldives 1
      • Mongolia 1
    • Africa 0
      • Liberia & Sierra Leone 1
      • Tanzania & D. R. Congo 1
      • Libya & Tunisia 1
      • Uganda & Kenya 1
      • Madagascar 1
      • Malawi & Zimbabwe 1
      • Algeria & Morocco 1
      • Mauritania & Western Sahara 1
      • Angola & Zambia 1
      • Namibia & Botswana 1
      • Burkina Faso & Mali 1
      • Nigeria & Niger 1
      • Cameroon 1
      • Reunion & Mauritius 1
      • Central African Republic & Ethiopia 1
      • Rwanda & Burundi 1
      • Comoro Island & Seychelles 1
      • Saint Helena & Equatorial Guinea 1
      • Congo & Gabon 1
      • Sao Tome & Principe 1
      • Cote d'Ivoire & Guinea 1
      • Senegal & Cape Verde 1
      • Egypt 1
      • Somalia 1
      • Eritrea & Djibouti 1
      • South Africa & Lesotho 1
      • Ghana, Togo & Benin 1
      • Sudan & Chad 1
      • Guinea-Bissau & The Gambia 1
      • Swaziland & Mozambique 1
    • Central America 0
      • Belize 1
      • Costa Rica 1
      • El Salvador 1
      • Guatemala 1
      • Honduras 1
      • Mexico 1
      • Nicaragua 1
      • Panama 1
    • Caribbean 0
      • Cayman Island 1
      • Saint Kitts And Nevis 1
      • Curacao 1
      • Trinidad And Tobago 1
      • Dominican Republic 1
      • Turks And Caicos 1
      • Dominica 1
      • Virgin Islands 1
      • Grenada 1
      • Guadeloupe 1
      • Haiti 1
      • Anguilla 1
      • Jamaica 1
      • Antiqua 1
      • Margarita 1
      • Aruba 1
      • Martinique 1
      • Bonaire 1
      • Puerto Rico 1
      • Barbados 1
      • Saint Maarten/Saint Martin 1
      • Barbuda 1
      • Saint Barts 1
      • Bahamas 1
      • Saint Lucia 1
      • Bermuda 1
      • Saint Vincent And The Grenadines 1
      • Cuba 1
      • Saba/Saint Eustatius 1
    • Middle East 0
      • Iran 1
      • Iraq 1
      • Israel 1
      • Jordan 1
      • Kuwait 1
      • Kyrgyzstan 1
      • Lebanon 1
      • Oman 1
      • Qatar 1
      • Syria 1
      • Arabia 1
      • Saudi Arabia 1
      • Azerbaijan 1
      • Tajikistan 1
      • Armenia 1
      • Turkmenistan 1
      • Afghanistan 1
      • Turkey 1
      • Bahrain 1
      • United Arab Emirates 1
      • Cyprus 1
      • Yemen 1
    • Canada 0
      • Northwest Territories 1
      • Nova Scotia 1
      • Ontario 18
      • Quebec 1
      • Saskatchewan 1
      • Yukon 1
      • Alberta 1
      • British Columbia 2
      • Manitoba 1
      • New Brunswick 1
      • Newfoundland 1
    • South America 0
      • Ecuador 1
      • French Guiana (France 1
      • Falkland Islands (UK 1
      • Guyana 1
      • Netherland Antilles (NL 1
      • Peru 1
      • Paraguay 1
      • Suriname 1
      • South Georgia (UK 1
      • Uruguay 1
      • Venezuela 1
      • Aruba (NL 1
      • Argentina 1
      • Bolivia 1
      • Brazil 1
      • Chile 1
    • United States 0
      • California 4
      • Massachusetts 1
      • Oregon 1
      • Colorado 1
      • Michigan 4
      • Pennsylvania 6
      • Connecticut 1
      • Minnesota 2
      • Rhode Island 1
      • Delaware 1
      • Mississippi 1
      • South Carolina 5
      • Florida 28
      • Missouri 1
      • South Dakota 1
      • Georgia 1
      • Montana 1
      • Tennessee 1
      • Hawaii 1
      • Nebraska 1
      • Texas 6
      • Idaho 1
      • Nevada 1
      • Utah 1
      • Illinois 3
      • New Hampshire 1
      • Vermont 1
      • Indiana 1
      • New Jersey 3
      • Virginia/DC 3
      • Iowa 1
      • New Mexico 1
      • Washington 3
      • Kansas 1
      • New York 1
      • West Virginia 1
      • Alabama 1
      • Kentucky 1
      • North Carolina 2
      • Wisconsin 1
      • Alaska 1
      • Louisiana 1
      • North Dakota 1
      • Wyoming 1
      • Arizona 1
      • Maine 1
      • Ohio 5
      • Arkansas 1
      • Maryland 3
      • Oklahoma 1
    • Europe 0
      • Belgium 1
      • Ireland 1
      • Slovakia 1
      • Bulgaria 1
      • Italy 1
      • Slovenia 1
      • Croatia.html 1
      • Latvia 1
      • Spain 1
      • Cyprus 1
      • Liechtenstein 1
      • Sweden 1
      • Czech Republic 1
      • Lithuania 1
      • Switzerland 1
      • Denmark 1
      • Luxembourg 1
      • Turkey 1
      • Estonia 1
      • Malta 1
      • Ukraine 1
      • England 2
      • Macedonia 1
      • Wales 1
      • Finland 1
      • Monaco 1
      • Yugoslavia 1
      • France 1
      • Netherlands 1
      • Germany 1
      • Norway 1
      • Greece 1
      • Poland 1
      • Gibraltar 1
      • Portugal 1
      • Hungary 1
      • Romania 1
      • Austria 1
      • Herzegovina 1
      • Russia 2
      • Andorra 1
      • Iceland 1
      • Scotland 2
    • General 3
  • The Detroit Pamphlet 4
  • Writings Of A.A. Members 0
    • Doctor Bob 10
    • Henry G. (Hank P. 2
    • Clarence S. 6
    • Bill D. 2
    • Bill W. 19
      • Let's Ask Bill W. 41
      • Bill W. On The 12 Traditions 16
      • Letters – To Jim Burwell From Bill Wilson 18
      • Letters – To Bill Wilson From Jim Burwell 3
      • Talks At General Service Conferences 31
        • Alcoholic Foundation 4
      • Grapevine Articles Of Bill W. 34
        • Grapevine – 12 Steps Of AA 2
        • Grapevine – 12 Traditions Of A.A. 16
    • Ebby Thacher 2
    • Others 13
      • Letters – To Jim Burwell From Bill Wilson 18
      • Letters – To Bill Wilson From Jim Burwell 3
    • Lois W. 7
  • Influential Books 0
    • When Man Listens 6
    • The Confessions Of Saint Augustine 5
      • Book One 20
      • Book Two 12
      • Book Three 14
      • Book Four 18
      • Book Five 16
      • Book Six 18
      • Book Seven 23
      • Book Eight 14
      • Book Nine 15
      • Book Ten 45
      • Book Eleven 33
      • Book Twelve 34
      • Book Thirteen 40
    • Other Books 9
    • John Barleycorn 39
    • Big Book Of AA 21
    • Personal Stories – Edition 1 29
    • Personal Stories – Edition 2 40
    • Mel B.'s Library 56
      • The Four Absolutes 17
    • Dick B.'s Library 128
    • The Greatest Thing In The world 5
    • In His Steps 32
    • The Varieties Of Religious Experiences 17
    • As A Man Thinketh 8
  • Research & Study 14
    • Timelines Of Historic A.A. Events 1
    • Charlie Bishop Jr. 3
    • Manuscript Of A.A. World History, 1985 – By Bob P. 23
    • Whos's Who In A.A.'s History 23
    • Big Book Changes 1
    • Magazine And Newspaper Articles 149
    • People In A.A.'s History 26
    • A.A. History – News Articles 8
      • Cleveland Plain Dealer 8
    • Place And Things In AA History 13
    • Dr. William Duncan Silkworth M.D. 12
      • Grapevine Articles Of Dr. William Silkworth 5
    • The Washingtonians 31
      • Grapevine Articles Of The Washingtonians 15
    • Gresham's Law And Alcoholics Anonymous 5
    • A Narrative Of Timeline Of A.A. History 30
    • The Emmanuel Movement 12
    • Tiebout Papers 6
    • Timelines In A.A. History 14
    • Big Book Story Author's 78
    • AA Growth 135
    • Stepping Stone News 1
AA Anonymity Statement

Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions.

Please respect this and treat in confidence who you see and what you hear.

About Silkworth.net
  • Privacy Policy
  • Legal Disclaimer
  • Contact Us
External Links
  • Free 12 Step Toolkit App
  • Free AA Apple Apps
  • Free AA Android Apps
  • Silkworth’s YouTube Channel
  • Alcoholics Anonymous (AAWS Inc.)
  • AA Grapevine, International Journal of Alcoholics Anonymous
  • Al-Anon Family (Includes Alateen)
Newsletter Subscription





  • © 2020 silkworth.net. All Rights Reserved