• AA Literature
    • A.A. Big Book
      • A.A. Big Book (164 Pages)
      • Big Book Stories Edition 1
      • Big Book Stories Edition 2
    • A.A. Preamble
    • Singleness of Purpose
    • A.A. 12 Steps
    • A.A. 12 Traditions
    • A.A. 12 Concepts
    • 12 Traditions Checklist
    • 9th Step Promises (Pg 83/84)
    • The Serenity Prayer
    • Principles Of The Program
    • I Am Responsible
    • The Page Of Prayers
  • A.A. History
    • The Emmanuel Movement
    • The Washingtonians
    • Magazine & Newspaper Articles
    • Narrative Of A.A. Timeline
    • Timelines In A.A. History
    • Manuscript Of A.A. World History – Bob P.
    • Place And Things In AA History
    • Who’s Who In A.A. History
    • Big Book Story Authors
    • Writings Of A.A. Members
  • Influential Books
    • A.A. Big Book (164 Pages)
    • Big Book Stories Edition 1
    • Big Book Stories Edition 2
    • Mel B’s Library
    • Dick B.’s Library
    • The Greatest Thing In The World
    • The Varieties Of Religious Experiences
    • In His Steps
    • As A Man Thinketh
    • When Man Listens
    • John Barleycorn
    • The Confessions Of Saint Augustine (13 Books)
    • Religion, Clergy & A.A.
  • Free Stuff
    • Free Audiobooks & Speaker Tapes
    • Videos Of Bill Wilson
    • The PDF Project (1000+ PDF’s)
    • Free AA Apps For iPhone
    • Free AA Apps For Android
    • Free 12 Step Toolkit App
  • AA Literature
    • A.A. Big Book
      • A.A. Big Book (164 Pages)
      • Big Book Stories Edition 1
      • Big Book Stories Edition 2
    • A.A. Preamble
    • Singleness of Purpose
    • A.A. 12 Steps
    • A.A. 12 Traditions
    • A.A. 12 Concepts
    • 12 Traditions Checklist
    • 9th Step Promises (Pg 83/84)
    • The Serenity Prayer
    • Principles Of The Program
    • I Am Responsible
    • The Page Of Prayers
  • A.A. History
    • The Emmanuel Movement
    • The Washingtonians
    • Magazine & Newspaper Articles
    • Narrative Of A.A. Timeline
    • Timelines In A.A. History
    • Manuscript Of A.A. World History – Bob P.
    • Place And Things In AA History
    • Who’s Who In A.A. History
    • Big Book Story Authors
    • Writings Of A.A. Members
  • Influential Books
    • A.A. Big Book (164 Pages)
    • Big Book Stories Edition 1
    • Big Book Stories Edition 2
    • Mel B’s Library
    • Dick B.’s Library
    • The Greatest Thing In The World
    • The Varieties Of Religious Experiences
    • In His Steps
    • As A Man Thinketh
    • When Man Listens
    • John Barleycorn
    • The Confessions Of Saint Augustine (13 Books)
    • Religion, Clergy & A.A.
  • Free Stuff
    • Free Audiobooks & Speaker Tapes
    • Videos Of Bill Wilson
    • The PDF Project (1000+ PDF’s)
    • Free AA Apps For iPhone
    • Free AA Apps For Android
    • Free 12 Step Toolkit App
home/Alcoholics Anonymous/Influential Books/Mel B.'s Library

Those Unremembered Memories – Mel B.

24 views 0 aa

Those Unremembered Memories
By Mel B.

Volume 55 Issue 9
February 1999

Some AA members like to say that if you can’t remember your last drunk, you haven’t had it!

True or not, the saying has meaning to me. It reminds me of a night’s drinking that I can’t remember–yet it is printed indelibly in my memory.

It was early in 1950, and very close to the time when I finally landed in a state hospital for a seven-week stay and started what has proved to be continuous sobriety.

I was terribly hung over on the morning I arrived at the front door of the Fifth Street Tavern in my hometown in northeast Nebraska. But I had taken only a few steps into the room when Eddie, the bartender, rushed from behind the bar and blocked me.

He was furious, and for a moment I almost thought that this stocky, well-muscled man was going to hit me. As he vented his rage, I learned that I’d been in there the night before, causing a terrible disturbance. What made it worse was that the bar had been filled that evening with a number of prominent people and a party that included the U.S. Congressman representing our district. Eddie told me angrily never to return.

I left the bar and slunk off down the street, shamed and humiliated. I must have also heard about the incident from my mother and stepfather, who were Eddie’s family friends. And I’m sure I brooded about the incident for days before embarking on the final drinking episodes that landed me in the state hospital, which was on a hill overlooking our town.

Now here’s the kicker: to this day, I have no memory of being in the Fifth Street Tavern that night or of anything I did or said. Like many other things in my drinking years, it dropped down the memory hole and has stayed there ever since.

But if I can’t remember that shameful night, I have never forgotten that it occurred. And several things have served as useful triggers.

One memory trigger is the Fifth Street bar itself. It is still there on the same corner in my hometown and still has the same name. And following Eddie’s angry orders, I haven’t set foot in it for more than forty-eight years. I moved to Michigan that September, but I returned home many times to visit my mother. And I couldn’t drive past that bar without remembering the night I couldn’t remember!

Another memory trigger is a sign on Interstate Highway 80 in western Iowa indicating that Minden, Iowa, is only a few miles south. Why Minden, Iowa? Well, Eddie moved there a short time after kicking me out of his bar and then died a few years later of a sudden heart attack. My stepfather even went there to help bring his body home. Seeing the Minden sign reminds me again of Eddie and also gives me a slight feeling of regret that I never saw him in sobriety to sort of square things up.

And two other memory triggers involve the name of the congressman who was in the bar that night. His grave, marked by an imposing monument, is in the cemetery where our family plot is located. When I pass the monument, I think of that night of shame. The local airport is also named for him, and flying into the airport or driving past it also serve as reminders.

My wife is sometimes amused when these triggers bring back a memory of something most people would like to forget. I’m seventy-three now, and there are a lot of things that don’t come quickly to mind. Perhaps I should also be glad that this particular night of shame has always been hidden from view. But I do think it’s very important to remember that it happened–and that AA has kept me from repeat episodes along the same line.

Mel B.
Toledo, Ohio
Tags:aaaa grapevinealcoholics anonymousarticleslibrarytoledo ohio1999

Was this helpful?

Yes  No
Related Articles
  • Can We Still Use The Four Absolutes – Page 16
  • Can We Still Use The Four Absolutes – Page 15
  • Can We Still Use The Four Absolutes – Page 14
  • Can We Still Use The Four Absolutes – Page 13
  • Can We Still Use The Four Absolutes – Page 12
  • Can We Still Use The Four Absolutes – Page 11
Leave A Comment Cancel reply

Popular Articles
  • Central Group, Panama City, Florida – Established Fall Of 1974
  • East Central – Meet Your Neighbors
  • Dr. Steve S., March 2004, Unknown Location
  • Jeff V. From Fargo, North Dakota Speaking At The Northern Plains Group In Fargo, North Dakota – 2005
  • A.W.A.R.E. Meeting, Panama City, Florida – Established April, 1984
KB Categories
  • Literature 12
    • Big Book 18
    • Big Book Stories Edition 1 29
    • Big Book Stories Edition 2 40
    • A.A. Prayers 10
    • The Big Book Concordance 27
    • The Original Manuscript Of AA. 16
    • The First A.A. Pamphlet 8
  • Writings Of A.A. Members 0
    • Bill W. 19
      • Let's Ask Bill W. 41
      • Bill W. On The 12 Traditions 16
      • Letters – To Jim Burwell From Bill Wilson 18
      • Letters – To Bill Wilson From Jim Burwell 3
      • Talks At General Service Conferences 31
        • Alcoholic Foundation 4
      • Grapevine Articles Of Bill W. 34
        • Grapevine – 12 Traditions Of A.A. 16
        • Grapevine – 12 Steps Of AA 2
    • Lois W. 7
    • Doctor Bob 10
    • Henry G. (Hank P. 2
    • Clarence S. 6
    • Bill D. 2
    • Ebby Thacher 2
    • Others 13
      • Letters – To Jim Burwell From Bill Wilson 18
      • Letters – To Bill Wilson From Jim Burwell 3
  • Al-Anon 14
  • Research & Study 14
    • Dr. William Duncan Silkworth M.D. 12
      • Grapevine Articles Of Dr. William Silkworth 5
    • A Narrative Of Timeline Of A.A. History 30
    • Timelines In A.A. History 14
    • Timelines Of Historic A.A. Events 1
    • Manuscript Of A.A. World History, 1985 – By Bob P. 23
    • Magazine And Newspaper Articles 149
    • People In A.A.'s History 26
    • Place And Things In AA History 13
    • The Washingtonians 31
      • Grapevine Articles Of The Washingtonians 15
    • The Emmanuel Movement 12
    • Big Book Story Author's 78
    • Whos's Who In A.A.'s History 23
    • Big Book Changes 1
    • Tiebout Papers 6
    • AA Growth 135
    • Charlie Bishop Jr. 3
    • A.A. History – News Articles 8
      • Cleveland Plain Dealer 8
    • Gresham's Law And Alcoholics Anonymous 5
    • Stepping Stone News 1
  • The PDF Project (1000+ PDF's 1
    • The Big Book (179 Articles 6
    • Bill W. (172 Articles 4
    • Dr. Bob (24 Articles 1
    • General Service Conference (157 Articles 6
    • Grapevine (51 Articles 5
    • History (437 Articles 52
  • Audio Books 0
    • Joe & Charlie 34
    • AA Big Book Audiobook 14
    • Sandy B. – Saturday Morning Live 12
    • AA Speaker Bill W. 100
    • Videos 15
    • International Conventions – 2015 184
    • AA Speaker Chuck C. 111
    • AA Speakers Clergy 220
    • AA Speakers Doctor's 129
    • AA Speaker Sandy B. 74
    • AA Assorted Speakers 195
  • Other Articles 40
    • Printed Book Reviews 26
    • Religion, Clergy & A.A. 108
  • Influential Books 0
    • Big Book Of AA 21
    • Personal Stories – Edition 1 29
    • Personal Stories – Edition 2 40
    • Mel B.'s Library 56
      • The Four Absolutes 17
    • Dick B.'s Library 128
    • The Greatest Thing In The world 5
    • In His Steps 32
    • The Varieties Of Religious Experiences 17
    • As A Man Thinketh 8
    • When Man Listens 6
    • The Confessions Of Saint Augustine 5
      • Book One 20
      • Book Two 12
      • Book Three 14
      • Book Four 18
      • Book Five 16
      • Book Six 18
      • Book Seven 23
      • Book Eight 14
      • Book Nine 15
      • Book Ten 45
      • Book Eleven 33
      • Book Twelve 34
      • Book Thirteen 40
    • Other Books 9
    • John Barleycorn 39
  • Grapevine Articles 4
    • Grapevine Reproduction 8
    • Additional A.A. Grapevine Articles 20
    • Big Book Updates 13
    • Other Grapevine Articles 33
    • Grapevine Articles – Interviews 6
  • The Detroit Pamphlet 4
  • A.A. History – General 27
  • The History Of Alcoholics Anonymous 6
  • The Global Map 3
    • Africa 0
      • Algeria & Morocco 1
      • Angola & Zambia 1
      • Burkina Faso & Mali 1
      • Cameroon 1
      • Central African Republic & Ethiopia 1
      • Comoro Island & Seychelles 1
      • Congo & Gabon 1
      • Cote d'Ivoire & Guinea 1
      • Egypt 1
      • Eritrea & Djibouti 1
      • Ghana, Togo & Benin 1
      • Guinea-Bissau & The Gambia 1
      • Liberia & Sierra Leone 1
      • Libya & Tunisia 1
      • Madagascar 1
      • Malawi & Zimbabwe 1
      • Mauritania & Western Sahara 1
      • Namibia & Botswana 1
      • Nigeria & Niger 1
      • Reunion & Mauritius 1
      • Rwanda & Burundi 1
      • Saint Helena & Equatorial Guinea 1
      • Sao Tome & Principe 1
      • Senegal & Cape Verde 1
      • Somalia 1
      • South Africa & Lesotho 1
      • Sudan & Chad 1
      • Swaziland & Mozambique 1
      • Tanzania & D. R. Congo 1
      • Uganda & Kenya 1
    • Asia 0
      • Bangladesh 1
      • Burma 1
      • Bhutan 1
      • China 1
      • Hong Kong 1
      • India 1
      • Indonesia 1
      • Japan 1
      • Kazakhstan 1
      • Laos 1
      • Malaysia 1
      • Maldives 1
      • Mongolia 1
      • North Korea 1
      • Nepal 1
      • Pakistan 1
      • Philippines 1
      • Russia 2
      • South Korea 1
      • Sri Lanka 1
      • Thailand 1
      • Taiwan 1
      • Vietnam 1
    • Canada 0
      • Alberta 1
      • British Columbia 2
      • Manitoba 1
      • New Brunswick 1
      • Newfoundland 1
      • Northwest Territories 1
      • Nova Scotia 1
      • Ontario 18
      • Quebec 1
      • Saskatchewan 1
      • Yukon 1
    • Caribbean 0
      • Anguilla 1
      • Antiqua 1
      • Aruba 1
      • Bonaire 1
      • Barbados 1
      • Barbuda 1
      • Bahamas 1
      • Bermuda 1
      • Cuba 1
      • Cayman Island 1
      • Curacao 1
      • Dominican Republic 1
      • Dominica 1
      • Grenada 1
      • Guadeloupe 1
      • Haiti 1
      • Jamaica 1
      • Margarita 1
      • Martinique 1
      • Puerto Rico 1
      • Saint Maarten/Saint Martin 1
      • Saint Barts 1
      • Saint Lucia 1
      • Saint Vincent And The Grenadines 1
      • Saba/Saint Eustatius 1
      • Saint Kitts And Nevis 1
      • Trinidad And Tobago 1
      • Turks And Caicos 1
      • Virgin Islands 1
    • Central America 0
      • Belize 1
      • Costa Rica 1
      • El Salvador 1
      • Guatemala 1
      • Honduras 1
      • Mexico 1
      • Nicaragua 1
      • Panama 1
    • Europe 0
      • Austria 1
      • Andorra 1
      • Belgium 1
      • Bulgaria 1
      • Croatia.html 1
      • Cyprus 1
      • Czech Republic 1
      • Denmark 1
      • Estonia 1
      • England 2
      • Finland 1
      • France 1
      • Germany 1
      • Greece 1
      • Gibraltar 1
      • Hungary 1
      • Herzegovina 1
      • Iceland 1
      • Ireland 1
      • Italy 1
      • Latvia 1
      • Liechtenstein 1
      • Lithuania 1
      • Luxembourg 1
      • Malta 1
      • Macedonia 1
      • Monaco 1
      • Netherlands 1
      • Norway 1
      • Poland 1
      • Portugal 1
      • Romania 1
      • Russia 2
      • Scotland 2
      • Slovakia 1
      • Slovenia 1
      • Spain 1
      • Sweden 1
      • Switzerland 1
      • Turkey 1
      • Ukraine 1
      • Wales 1
      • Yugoslavia 1
    • Middle East 0
      • Arabia 1
      • Azerbaijan 1
      • Armenia 1
      • Afghanistan 1
      • Bahrain 1
      • Cyprus 1
      • Iran 1
      • Iraq 1
      • Israel 1
      • Jordan 1
      • Kuwait 1
      • Kyrgyzstan 1
      • Lebanon 1
      • Oman 1
      • Qatar 1
      • Syria 1
      • Saudi Arabia 1
      • Tajikistan 1
      • Turkmenistan 1
      • Turkey 1
      • United Arab Emirates 1
      • Yemen 1
    • Australia (Oceania 0
      • Australia 3
      • American Samoa 1
      • Cook Islands 1
      • Coral Sea Islands 1
      • Federated States Of Micronesia 1
      • Fiji 1
      • French Polynesia 1
      • Guam 1
      • Kiribati 1
      • Marshall Islands 1
      • Northern Mariana Islands 1
      • New Zealand 1
      • Nauru 1
      • New Caledonia 1
      • Niue 1
      • Palau 1
      • Papua New Guinea 1
      • Pitcairn Islands 1
      • Solomon Islands 1
      • Tongi 1
      • Tokelau 1
      • Tuvalu 1
      • Vanuatu 1
      • Western Samoa 1
      • Wallis And Futuna Islands 1
    • South America 0
      • Aruba (NL 1
      • Argentina 1
      • Bolivia 1
      • Brazil 1
      • Chile 1
      • Ecuador 1
      • French Guiana (France 1
      • Falkland Islands (UK 1
      • Guyana 1
      • Netherland Antilles (NL 1
      • Peru 1
      • Paraguay 1
      • Suriname 1
      • South Georgia (UK 1
      • Uruguay 1
      • Venezuela 1
    • United States 0
      • Alabama 1
      • Alaska 1
      • Arizona 1
      • Arkansas 1
      • California 4
      • Colorado 1
      • Connecticut 1
      • Delaware 1
      • Florida 28
      • Georgia 1
      • Hawaii 1
      • Idaho 1
      • Illinois 3
      • Indiana 1
      • Iowa 1
      • Kansas 1
      • Kentucky 1
      • Louisiana 1
      • Maine 1
      • Maryland 3
      • Massachusetts 1
      • Michigan 4
      • Minnesota 2
      • Mississippi 1
      • Missouri 1
      • Montana 1
      • Nebraska 1
      • Nevada 1
      • New Hampshire 1
      • New Jersey 3
      • New Mexico 1
      • New York 1
      • North Carolina 2
      • North Dakota 1
      • Ohio 5
      • Oklahoma 1
      • Oregon 1
      • Pennsylvania 6
      • Rhode Island 1
      • South Carolina 5
      • South Dakota 1
      • Tennessee 1
      • Texas 6
      • Utah 1
      • Vermont 1
      • Virginia/DC 3
      • Washington 3
      • West Virginia 1
      • Wisconsin 1
      • Wyoming 1
    • General 3
AA Anonymity Statement

Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions.

Please respect this and treat in confidence who you see and what you hear.

About Silkworth.net
  • Privacy Policy
  • Legal Disclaimer
  • Contact Us
External Links
  • Free 12 Step Toolkit App
  • Free AA Apple Apps
  • Free AA Android Apps
  • Silkworth’s YouTube Channel
  • Alcoholics Anonymous (AAWS Inc.)
  • AA Grapevine, International Journal of Alcoholics Anonymous
  • Al-Anon Family (Includes Alateen)
Newsletter Subscription





  • © 2020 silkworth.net. All Rights Reserved