• AA Literature
    • A.A. Big Book
      • A.A. Big Book (164 Pages)
      • Big Book Stories Edition 1
      • Big Book Stories Edition 2
    • A.A. Preamble
    • Singleness of Purpose
    • A.A. 12 Steps
    • A.A. 12 Traditions
    • A.A. 12 Concepts
    • 12 Traditions Checklist
    • 9th Step Promises (Pg 83/84)
    • The Serenity Prayer
    • Principles Of The Program
    • I Am Responsible
    • The Page Of Prayers
  • A.A. History
    • The Emmanuel Movement
    • The Washingtonians
    • Magazine & Newspaper Articles
    • Narrative Of A.A. Timeline
    • Timelines In A.A. History
    • Manuscript Of A.A. World History – Bob P.
    • Place And Things In AA History
    • Who’s Who In A.A. History
    • Big Book Story Authors
    • Writings Of A.A. Members
  • Influential Books
    • A.A. Big Book (164 Pages)
    • Big Book Stories Edition 1
    • Big Book Stories Edition 2
    • Mel B’s Library
    • Dick B.’s Library
    • The Greatest Thing In The World
    • The Varieties Of Religious Experiences
    • In His Steps
    • As A Man Thinketh
    • When Man Listens
    • John Barleycorn
    • The Confessions Of Saint Augustine (13 Books)
    • Religion, Clergy & A.A.
  • Free Stuff
    • Free Audiobooks & Speaker Tapes
    • Videos Of Bill Wilson
    • The PDF Project (1000+ PDF’s)
    • Free AA Apps For iPhone
    • Free AA Apps For Android
    • 10-Days To Sobriety
  • Free 12 Step Toolkit App
  • Free AA Big Book App
  • AA Literature
    • A.A. Big Book
      • A.A. Big Book (164 Pages)
      • Big Book Stories Edition 1
      • Big Book Stories Edition 2
    • A.A. Preamble
    • Singleness of Purpose
    • A.A. 12 Steps
    • A.A. 12 Traditions
    • A.A. 12 Concepts
    • 12 Traditions Checklist
    • 9th Step Promises (Pg 83/84)
    • The Serenity Prayer
    • Principles Of The Program
    • I Am Responsible
    • The Page Of Prayers
  • A.A. History
    • The Emmanuel Movement
    • The Washingtonians
    • Magazine & Newspaper Articles
    • Narrative Of A.A. Timeline
    • Timelines In A.A. History
    • Manuscript Of A.A. World History – Bob P.
    • Place And Things In AA History
    • Who’s Who In A.A. History
    • Big Book Story Authors
    • Writings Of A.A. Members
  • Influential Books
    • A.A. Big Book (164 Pages)
    • Big Book Stories Edition 1
    • Big Book Stories Edition 2
    • Mel B’s Library
    • Dick B.’s Library
    • The Greatest Thing In The World
    • The Varieties Of Religious Experiences
    • In His Steps
    • As A Man Thinketh
    • When Man Listens
    • John Barleycorn
    • The Confessions Of Saint Augustine (13 Books)
    • Religion, Clergy & A.A.
  • Free Stuff
    • Free Audiobooks & Speaker Tapes
    • Videos Of Bill Wilson
    • The PDF Project (1000+ PDF’s)
    • Free AA Apps For iPhone
    • Free AA Apps For Android
    • 10-Days To Sobriety
  • Free 12 Step Toolkit App
  • Free AA Big Book App
home/Alcoholics Anonymous/Influential Books/Mel B.'s Library/The Twelve Symptoms Of My Alcoholism – Mel B.

The Twelve Symptoms Of My Alcoholism – Mel B.

199 views 1 aa

The Twelve Symptoms of My Alcoholism
By Mel B.

 

How can we really define and diagnose alcoholism?

 It isn’t always easy.  As far back as 1938, the AA pioneers had trouble defining an alcoholic as they formed what is now the General Service Board.  The simple definition, “a sick person who couldn’t drink at all,” didn’t work for legal purposes.  So they gave it up.  Since then, we’ve trudged our road of happy destiny without a real definition that wraps it up in a few brilliantly crafted sentences.  As for diagnosing alcoholism—well, the AA idea is that people must diagnose themselves as best they can.

I’ve privately thought of an alcoholic—at least myself—as a person who uses alcohol compulsively, excessively, and destructively as a mood-changing drug.  I also like that concept gleaned from the Big Book:  a person who suffers from an allergy of the body and an obsession of the mind.  (We shouldn’t go too far with that one, however, because “allergy” doesn’t really fly with the medical community.  I prefer using “physical susceptibility to alcohol” to make the same point.)

Following the lead of the medical sciences, however, I realized that the right way to diagnose alcoholism is to look at the symptoms.  Scanning my own embarrassing past, I could find twelve such symptoms which should convince any person that he or she is one of us.  Simply put, an alcoholic is a person who shows these symptoms.  I have frequently talked about these symptoms while sharing with other alcoholics in AA discussions or in talks at AA meetings.  Here they are, a list of twelve for anybody who wants to use them:

  1. Couldn’t quit drinking even when my posterior was dropping off.  While I never had much in the way of status or possessions. my alcoholism quickly stripped me of what little I had.  I swore off after waking up in jail, after passing out on the street, after being beaten, humiliated, or rolled.  Swearing off or cutting down never worked, and it hasn’t worked for countless other AAs I’ve met.
  2. People started calling me a drunk.  Though I tried to deny it, word got around that I was a drunk.  Moving didn’t work; people in my new locations quickly got the same idea, proving that gossip seems to travel.  It was almost as if a large “D” had been tattooed on my forhead.  Some bartenders seemed to read it almost intuitively and would shut me off even before I’d had enough drinks to become really obnoxious.
  3. I failed at the drink-switching game.  I tried one beverage after another, hoping there’d be one that wouldn’t turn me into a slobbering wretch or leave me with a terrible hangover.  They were all the same in the long run because they all contained alcohol.
  4. The “hair of the dog” became routine.  I can’t remember when I learned to medicate my awful hangovers with more drinks the next morning.  I may have done this even before I  learned that this was taking “some of the hair of the dog that bit me.”  And I was doing it long before I learned that this practice is another symptom of alcoholism.
  5. Watching controlled drinkers made me feel envious and weak.  Time and again, I felt wretched and ashamed in the presence of people who could take a drink or two and then go about their business.  Secretly, I berated myself for my lack of will power and vowed I would become one of them.  It never worked.
  6. Drinking made me a “problem person” to other people.  My way of drinking caused rumbles with others.  While drunk, I once took a cab thirty miles without having a cent to pay the driver.  I insulted people over the telephone.  I borrowed money without paying it back.  I told lies while drinking and then told other lies to cover them up.  The list goes on and on—all things that don’t belong in a sane, manageable life.
  7. Drinking caused home problems.  I had no real home of my own, but my drinking brought trouble wherever I lived. I was kicked out of a rooming house for wetting the bed.  A relative who put me up temporarily asked me to leave within a week.  I lived with my parents for a time, and finally wore out their patience.  For a while, I was even homeless, although the term then was vagrancy.
  8. Frantic, compulsive drinking overtook me.  Once started, I wanted to drink continuously without interruptions for any other activity.  I wasn’t invited to parties, but I would have snatched extra drinks had I been so favored.  I hated to drink with people who could control their drinking or preferred a more leisurely pace.
  9. Denying the problem, deluded about the seriousness of it.  Looking back, I am now amazed that I could have had so many delusions about my drinking.  I was aided in denial be observing a few others whose drinking seemed to be even worse than mine.  Long after I was way out of control, I continued to believe that I might somehow either quit or moderate my drinking.
  10. Getting fired, being rejected.  I was fired several times and also shunned by others once my drinking problem became apparent.  The main reason for being fired was absenteeism caused by drinking, but alcohol-related character defects also caused some of my employment problems.
  11. Blackouts, or whatever you call them.  I had many experiences of forgetting an entire evening.  A few weeks before taking my last drink, I apparently caused a shameful disturbance in a bar, but never recalled a single moment of it.  It was also common, while drinking in a bar, to notice that two or three hours had elapsed during what I thought was a few minutes.
  12. Mounting regrets.  Despite my denials and delusions, I had numerous regrets about the damages and costs of my drinking problem.  In rare moments of honesty, I was beginning to see how it was wrecking my life and hurting others.

Those were my Twelve Symptoms, and they had the cumulative effect of prodding me into AA.  The memory of the pain and humiliation they caused has helped keep me sober since April 15, 1950.  If anything, the memories of the symptoms have become sharper with the passing years, serving to dislodge any belief that I might somehow drink again in a controlled manner.  I never want to revisit the distressing life that included these symptoms, which did disappear when I got sober and stayed that way.

Does one have to have all of these symptoms to be self-diagnosed as an alcoholic?  Not at all; having even a third of them surely means that the individual is well into the danger zone.  Yet I believe that a large number of AAs could honestly say that they had most of the symptoms in one degree or another.

I’d like to offer My Twelve Symptoms to the drinking world, but it’s not necessary.  AA World Services has already done this job.  In slightly different forms, the Twelve Symptoms are discussed in two AA conference-approved pamphlets.  One is titled Is AA for You?; the other, Is AA for Me?  You can use either of them to go over your own drinking problem or to help others walk through theirs.  Honest answers to the questions in these publications could be the keys to real understanding of one’s problem and continuing recovery.

“Twelve” also seems to be a lucky number in AA.  Bill W., in writing the Twelve Steps, even linked it up with the Biblical use of the number.  Then we went on to have the Twelve Traditions, the Twelve Concepts of World Service, and even the Twelve Promises.  I never realized until lately that my alcoholic symptoms added up to Twelve.  But talk about lucky numbers!  Facing my Twelve Symptoms was one of the luckiest things that ever happened for me

End

Mel B.
Toledo, Ohio

Tags:aaaa grapevinealcoholics anonymousarticlesalcoholismlibrarytoledo ohio

Was this helpful?

1 Yes  No
Related Articles
  • Can We Still Use The Four Absolutes – Page 16
  • Can We Still Use The Four Absolutes – Page 15
  • Can We Still Use The Four Absolutes – Page 14
  • Can We Still Use The Four Absolutes – Page 13
  • Can We Still Use The Four Absolutes – Page 12
  • Can We Still Use The Four Absolutes – Page 11

Didn't find your answer? Contact Us

Leave A Comment Cancel reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Popular Articles
  • Southwest U.S. – Meet Your Neighbors
  • Father Kurt, From Racine Wisconsin. At 35th. Fall Conference. Wisconsin, October 1986
  • Edward Delahanty MD., Psychodynamics Of The 12 Steps
  • Docs Opinion
  • The Global Alcoholics Anonymous History Project
KB Categories
  • Audio Books 0
    • AA Assorted Speakers 195
    • AA Speaker Bill W. 100
    • Joe & Charlie 34
    • Videos 15
    • International Conventions – 2015 184
    • AA Speaker Chuck C. 111
    • AA Big Book Audiobook 14
    • AA Speakers Clergy 220
    • AA Speakers Doctor's 129
    • Sandy B. – Saturday Morning Live 12
    • AA Speaker Sandy B. 74
  • A.A. History – General 27
  • Literature 12
    • Big Book 18
    • A.A. Prayers 10
    • Big Book Stories Edition 1 29
    • Big Book Stories Edition 2 40
    • The Big Book Concordance 27
    • The Original Manuscript Of AA. 16
    • The First A.A. Pamphlet 8
  • Al-Anon 14
  • The PDF Project (1000+ PDF's 1
    • The Big Book (179 Articles 6
    • Bill W. (172 Articles 4
    • Dr. Bob (24 Articles 1
    • General Service Conference (157 Articles 6
    • Grapevine (51 Articles 5
    • History (437 Articles 52
  • Grapevine Articles 4
    • Grapevine Articles – Interviews 6
    • Grapevine Reproduction 8
    • Additional A.A. Grapevine Articles 20
    • Big Book Updates 13
    • Other Grapevine Articles 33
  • The History Of Alcoholics Anonymous 6
  • Other Articles 41
    • Printed Book Reviews 26
    • Religion, Clergy & A.A. 108
  • The Global Map 3
    • Europe 0
      • Hungary 1
      • Romania 1
      • Austria 1
      • Herzegovina 1
      • Russia 2
      • Andorra 1
      • Iceland 1
      • Scotland 2
      • Belgium 1
      • Ireland 1
      • Slovakia 1
      • Bulgaria 1
      • Italy 1
      • Slovenia 1
      • Croatia.html 1
      • Latvia 1
      • Spain 1
      • Cyprus 1
      • Liechtenstein 1
      • Sweden 1
      • Czech Republic 1
      • Lithuania 1
      • Switzerland 1
      • Denmark 1
      • Luxembourg 1
      • Turkey 1
      • Estonia 1
      • Malta 1
      • Ukraine 1
      • England 2
      • Macedonia 1
      • Wales 1
      • Finland 1
      • Monaco 1
      • Yugoslavia 1
      • France 1
      • Netherlands 1
      • Germany 1
      • Norway 1
      • Greece 1
      • Poland 1
      • Gibraltar 1
      • Portugal 1
    • General 3
    • Australia (Oceania 0
      • Nauru 1
      • New Caledonia 1
      • Niue 1
      • Palau 1
      • Australia 3
      • Papua New Guinea 1
      • American Samoa 1
      • Pitcairn Islands 1
      • Cook Islands 1
      • Solomon Islands 1
      • Coral Sea Islands 1
      • Tongi 1
      • Federated States Of Micronesia 1
      • Tokelau 1
      • Fiji 1
      • Tuvalu 1
      • French Polynesia 1
      • Vanuatu 1
      • Guam 1
      • Western Samoa 1
      • Kiribati 1
      • Wallis And Futuna Islands 1
      • Marshall Islands 1
      • Northern Mariana Islands 1
      • New Zealand 1
    • Asia 0
      • Malaysia 1
      • Maldives 1
      • Mongolia 1
      • North Korea 1
      • Nepal 1
      • Pakistan 1
      • Bangladesh 1
      • Philippines 1
      • Burma 1
      • Russia 2
      • Bhutan 1
      • South Korea 1
      • China 1
      • Sri Lanka 1
      • Hong Kong 1
      • Thailand 1
      • India 1
      • Taiwan 1
      • Indonesia 1
      • Vietnam 1
      • Japan 1
      • Kazakhstan 1
      • Laos 1
    • Africa 0
      • Eritrea & Djibouti 1
      • South Africa & Lesotho 1
      • Ghana, Togo & Benin 1
      • Sudan & Chad 1
      • Guinea-Bissau & The Gambia 1
      • Swaziland & Mozambique 1
      • Liberia & Sierra Leone 1
      • Tanzania & D. R. Congo 1
      • Libya & Tunisia 1
      • Uganda & Kenya 1
      • Madagascar 1
      • Malawi & Zimbabwe 1
      • Algeria & Morocco 1
      • Mauritania & Western Sahara 1
      • Angola & Zambia 1
      • Namibia & Botswana 1
      • Burkina Faso & Mali 1
      • Nigeria & Niger 1
      • Cameroon 1
      • Reunion & Mauritius 1
      • Central African Republic & Ethiopia 1
      • Rwanda & Burundi 1
      • Comoro Island & Seychelles 1
      • Saint Helena & Equatorial Guinea 1
      • Congo & Gabon 1
      • Sao Tome & Principe 1
      • Cote d'Ivoire & Guinea 1
      • Senegal & Cape Verde 1
      • Egypt 1
      • Somalia 1
    • Central America 0
      • Belize 1
      • Costa Rica 1
      • El Salvador 1
      • Guatemala 1
      • Honduras 1
      • Mexico 1
      • Nicaragua 1
      • Panama 1
    • Caribbean 0
      • Bahamas 1
      • Saint Lucia 1
      • Bermuda 1
      • Saint Vincent And The Grenadines 1
      • Cuba 1
      • Saba/Saint Eustatius 1
      • Cayman Island 1
      • Saint Kitts And Nevis 1
      • Curacao 1
      • Trinidad And Tobago 1
      • Dominican Republic 1
      • Turks And Caicos 1
      • Dominica 1
      • Virgin Islands 1
      • Grenada 1
      • Guadeloupe 1
      • Haiti 1
      • Anguilla 1
      • Jamaica 1
      • Antiqua 1
      • Margarita 1
      • Aruba 1
      • Martinique 1
      • Bonaire 1
      • Puerto Rico 1
      • Barbados 1
      • Saint Maarten/Saint Martin 1
      • Barbuda 1
      • Saint Barts 1
    • Middle East 0
      • Afghanistan 1
      • Turkey 1
      • Bahrain 1
      • United Arab Emirates 1
      • Cyprus 1
      • Yemen 1
      • Iran 1
      • Iraq 1
      • Israel 1
      • Jordan 1
      • Kuwait 1
      • Kyrgyzstan 1
      • Lebanon 1
      • Oman 1
      • Qatar 1
      • Syria 1
      • Arabia 1
      • Saudi Arabia 1
      • Azerbaijan 1
      • Tajikistan 1
      • Armenia 1
      • Turkmenistan 1
    • Canada 0
      • Manitoba 1
      • New Brunswick 1
      • Newfoundland 1
      • Northwest Territories 1
      • Nova Scotia 1
      • Ontario 18
      • Quebec 1
      • Saskatchewan 1
      • Yukon 1
      • Alberta 1
      • British Columbia 2
    • South America 0
      • Bolivia 1
      • Brazil 1
      • Chile 1
      • Ecuador 1
      • French Guiana (France 1
      • Falkland Islands (UK 1
      • Guyana 1
      • Netherland Antilles (NL 1
      • Peru 1
      • Paraguay 1
      • Suriname 1
      • South Georgia (UK 1
      • Uruguay 1
      • Venezuela 1
      • Aruba (NL 1
      • Argentina 1
    • United States 0
      • Alaska 1
      • Louisiana 1
      • North Dakota 1
      • Wyoming 1
      • Arizona 1
      • Maine 1
      • Ohio 5
      • Arkansas 1
      • Maryland 3
      • Oklahoma 1
      • California 4
      • Massachusetts 1
      • Oregon 1
      • Colorado 1
      • Michigan 4
      • Pennsylvania 6
      • Connecticut 1
      • Minnesota 2
      • Rhode Island 1
      • Delaware 1
      • Mississippi 1
      • South Carolina 5
      • Florida 28
      • Missouri 1
      • South Dakota 1
      • Georgia 1
      • Montana 1
      • Tennessee 1
      • Hawaii 1
      • Nebraska 1
      • Texas 6
      • Idaho 1
      • Nevada 1
      • Utah 1
      • Illinois 3
      • New Hampshire 1
      • Vermont 1
      • Indiana 1
      • New Jersey 3
      • Virginia/DC 3
      • Iowa 1
      • New Mexico 1
      • Washington 3
      • Kansas 1
      • New York 1
      • West Virginia 1
      • Alabama 1
      • Kentucky 1
      • North Carolina 2
      • Wisconsin 1
  • The Detroit Pamphlet 4
  • Writings Of A.A. Members 0
    • Lois W. 7
    • Doctor Bob 10
    • Henry G. (Hank P. 2
    • Clarence S. 6
    • Bill D. 2
    • Bill W. 19
      • Let's Ask Bill W. 41
      • Bill W. On The 12 Traditions 16
      • Letters – To Jim Burwell From Bill Wilson 18
      • Letters – To Bill Wilson From Jim Burwell 3
      • Talks At General Service Conferences 31
        • Alcoholic Foundation 4
      • Grapevine Articles Of Bill W. 34
        • Grapevine – 12 Traditions Of A.A. 16
        • Grapevine – 12 Steps Of AA 2
    • Ebby Thacher 2
    • Others 13
      • Letters – To Jim Burwell From Bill Wilson 18
      • Letters – To Bill Wilson From Jim Burwell 3
  • Influential Books 0
    • In His Steps 32
    • The Varieties Of Religious Experiences 17
    • As A Man Thinketh 8
    • When Man Listens 6
    • The Confessions Of Saint Augustine 5
      • Book Eleven 33
      • Book Twelve 34
      • Book Thirteen 40
      • Book One 20
      • Book Two 12
      • Book Three 14
      • Book Four 18
      • Book Five 16
      • Book Six 18
      • Book Seven 23
      • Book Eight 14
      • Book Nine 15
      • Book Ten 45
    • Other Books 9
    • John Barleycorn 39
    • Big Book Of AA 21
    • Personal Stories – Edition 1 29
    • Personal Stories – Edition 2 40
    • Mel B.'s Library 56
      • The Four Absolutes 17
    • Dick B.'s Library 128
    • The Greatest Thing In The world 5
  • Research & Study 14
    • A Narrative Of Timeline Of A.A. History 30
    • The Emmanuel Movement 12
    • Tiebout Papers 6
    • Timelines In A.A. History 14
    • Big Book Story Author's 78
    • AA Growth 135
    • Stepping Stone News 1
    • Timelines Of Historic A.A. Events 1
    • Charlie Bishop Jr. 3
    • Manuscript Of A.A. World History, 1985 – By Bob P. 23
    • Whos's Who In A.A.'s History 23
    • Big Book Changes 1
    • Magazine And Newspaper Articles 149
    • People In A.A.'s History 26
    • A.A. History – News Articles 8
      • Cleveland Plain Dealer 8
    • Place And Things In AA History 13
    • Dr. William Duncan Silkworth M.D. 12
      • Grapevine Articles Of Dr. William Silkworth 5
    • The Washingtonians 31
      • Grapevine Articles Of The Washingtonians 15
    • Gresham's Law And Alcoholics Anonymous 5

  The AA Tom Swifty – Mel B.

AA’s Roots In The Oxford Group – Mel B.  

AA Anonymity Statement

Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions.

Please respect this and treat in confidence who you see and what you hear.

About Silkworth.net
  • Privacy Policy
  • Legal Disclaimer
  • Contact Us
External Links
  • Free 12 Step Toolkit App
  • Free AA Apple Apps
  • Free AA Android Apps
  • Silkworth’s YouTube Channel
  • Alcoholics Anonymous (AAWS Inc.)
  • AA Grapevine, International Journal of Alcoholics Anonymous
  • Al-Anon Family (Includes Alateen)
Newsletter Subscription





  • 2023 Silkworth.net - © iByte Apps Limited